Very rarely does one get the pleasure of the reverse rejection.
This amazing moment occurs when your story is accepted somewhere, and you get to write and announce this fact to all the other literary journals where your same story is simultaneously under consideration, so that essentially you are rejecting them. I sent this reverse rejection to the editors of The Boston Review. It says: "Please note that a story [title of story] I submitted for your consideration was named as a runner-up in the [title of fancy literary journal] fiction contest and will be published in those prestigious pages later this year. I'm not sure who exactly needs to act on this information to make sure my story does not needlessly take up your time and energy. Perhaps Junot Diaz (of whom I am a big fan. I'm actually kind of sorry that he won't be reading my work.) Either way, please note that I must respectfully withdraw my submission. Thanks so much and congratulations on your first-rate publication. I'll submit more stories at later dates. Best, Writer, Rejected P.S. Would one of you be so kind as to write me back and let me know this information was passed along to the appropriate party?"
Brad Plumer, Editorial Assistant at the Boston Review, wrote back: "It's all taken care of. Thanks for letting us know, and congratulations! (And by all means, feel free to keep submitting.)" It's a little bit too bad because I think I would have liked being rejected by Junot Diaz.