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Thursday, March 11, 2010

To Download or Not to Download

So, I've been asked to write a review of two novels for a nice, fancy magazine.  I've decided to read one of them the old fashioned way (a galley) and one of them on my eReader (Kindle) just to see if I can find any qualitative difference in the experience.  For the most part, the old fashioned way is much more pleasant because it's familiar and brings back happy memories.  It doesn't help at all that the stupid Kindle keeps freezing, and I have to dig through a drawer to find a paperclip, pull it apart and jam it in the reset hole...like, every ten pages.  I finally figured out if I kept it super-charged and dumped some of the older ebooks off the thing, to free up the memory, it wouldn't freeze quite as often.  That seemed to help, though it still crashes.
    In truth, though, the novel I'm reading on the eReader has a much bigger scope and tackles more compelling questions on the whole than the book I read on paper, which is to say, it's still the story, the sweeping away of reality, the feeling of being an outsider on page one and slowly sinking into the middle of a new world, that wins the day. (Maybe I jumped the gun when I proclaimed fiction dead. Maybe it's the old way of selling books that's dead; writing them beautifully persists. Maybe the industry will just have to adjust, the way the music industry did.  It's too bad that writers can't go on world tours the way rock stars can to recoup the loss in book/CD sales, now downloadable on the cheap.)
     From this reader's library chair, the form of the book is fairly neutral; perhaps one is slightly more annoying and the other more pleasurably familiar, but still a book is a book is a book is an ebook.
    Electronic books tip the scales slightly for me: a smaller impact on the environment and the wallet, though I realize this is what's killing the business as we know it.  Maybe it's time for the beast to die and rise up as something more reasonable. God knows the blockbuster model has done nothing for me. I am confirmed in my opinion that the bookness of the experience comes through without the paper.
    The world is a-changing, mice.  Think of that.  We are in the middle of the seachange, some of us swimming with the tide; some of us against. That's my report anyway. The extra good news is that both books were very successful, enjoyable, and well done. One of them even seems important.

Wednesday, March 10, 2010

Missouri Review Invitation/Non-Invitation


An LROD reader wants us to do an analysis of the following two rejections from Missouri Review, both currently being sent out as form letters:

1) Thank you for submitting [story name] to The Missouri Review. Though it doesn't meet our current needs, we appreciate the opportunity to consider it for publication. We wish you the best of luck in placing it elsewhere. Sincerely, The Editors

2) Thank you for giving us the chance to consider [story name] for publication in The Missouri Review. Though it does not fit our current needs, we appreciate your interest in our magazine and your commitment to quality writing. We wish you the best of luck publishing your work and hope you’ll consider sending us more in the future. Sincerely, The Editors


Our friend's friend received form letter #1 and our friend received form letter #2. I'd say that they tier their rejections at MR, wouldn't you?






Tuesday, March 9, 2010

Friday, March 5, 2010

Even the Literary Agents in Iowa Don't Want You

Enough said.  Best wishes indeed.

Revolutionary Same-Old Same-Old

Here's from a group called the Cooperative Press, meant to subvert the current state of publishing by teaching writers about the publishing process, providing opportunities for netoworking, publication and education. Costs $35 bucks for all that. And yet they still reject you the same old stale way:
Thank you for your submission to the Michigan Writers Cooperative Press. Our readers evaluated fourteen manuscripts for this round and chose three for publication. Although your manuscript was not selected, we cannot emphasize how much we appreciate your participation. Receiving so many quality submissions for this fifth year of our publishing project bodes well for the continued success of the Cooperative Press. We hope that you will try again. Please check the website for further updates. Again, thank you for sharing your work with us.
Sincerely, Michael Callaghan, Chair, Cooperative Press Committee,Michigan Writers, Inc. Marcy Branski & Denise Baker, Co-Presidents, Michigan Writers, Inc.
Thanks for sharing.
     

Wednesday, March 3, 2010

Where the Sun Don't Shine

Look way at the bottom of this rejection from The Sun where Colleen Donfield's name is listed. Wouldn't you love the title "Manuscript Reader?"  It's like "Child Raiser" or "Book Writer." Kind of charming, but why is her name there if the letterl is from the editor? It's confusing, no?  Though I suppose it merely means that the editor didn't reject you, the Manuscript Reader did, or something like that. I always say hope for a rejection from the person with the highest title; it makes it more permanent. Anyway, I like that The Sun says the rejection is not a reflection of your writing.  Kind of poetic there with the metaphors, no?

Tuesday, March 2, 2010

What Goes On Inside There?

Writer and editor Brian Doyle published this lovely piece on rejection a few years back over at the Kenyon Review blog.  It's nothing we haven't covered in our daily tedium here at LROD (quite literally), but his is so nicely written, I thought you might enjoy it anyway, especially for the up-close-and-personal view into an actual discerning editor's mind.  Here's a sample: After lo these many years as a magazine editor I have settled on a single flat sentence for my own use (“Thanks for letting me read your work, but it’s not quite right for this magazine,” a sentence I have come to love for the vast country of not quite right, into which you could cram an awful lot of sins), but I still have enduring affection for the creative no, such as this gem sent to a writer by a Chinese publication: “We have read your manuscript with boundless delight, and if we were to publish your paper, it would be impossible for us to publish any work of a lower standard. And, as it is unthinkable that in the next thousand years we shall see its equal, we are, to our regret, compelled to return your divine composition and beg you a thousand times to overlook our short sight and timidity.”

Monday, March 1, 2010

You Will NOT Be Rejected Here

Your prayers have been answered. (Or have they?)  A gentle reader sent in a link to a site the ultimate anti-rejection site.  Here's the submission guidelines: If you have written something that someone has rejected, we want to read it. Send it to thisstoryhasbeenrejected@rocketmail.com as soon as you can. In order to qualify for submission, we also require a copy of a rejection e-mail of some sort. There is a special rule. If you can provide us FIVE rejection e-mails, we GUARANTEE publication. If you have less than five, we do not guarantee publication. Any piece of writing on the site with a little crown next to it has been rejected at least five times. It is our 'seal of approval/rejection'.There is no theme to the site. There are no limits in terms of number of words. It is very unlikely that we will publish extremely offensive material. It is very likely that we will publish good material. It is likely that we will publish very bad material. Check out the archives before you make up your mind.

Wednesday, February 24, 2010

Not Horrified Enough, Apparently

So, this rejection came in yesterday. The agent had read the first section in August and sent me an enthusiastic note about how much she loved it.  Then followed 6 months of radio silence, unless I prodded.  Now this:
I'm horrified it's taken me so long to get back to you about this. I'm sorry to say too that I don't think I'd be the best representative for [title of novel]. I was hooked through the moment of [first major plot point], but then I felt like the narrative...started to meander on its way to its conclusion (which struck me as a little too neat, weirdly)..... I'm so sorry not to have better news to deliver at such a late date. This was a close one for me, and I wish you the very best of luck in finding the best advocate for it.
Actually, the other close call I had at a mainstream publishing house, where the novel went all the way up the ladder, also involved a criticism about a too-neat ending.  That editor said she wanted the family to suffer more at the end. So maybe I'll take another look and see if I can add a few more layers or untie a few loose ends. But, anyway, it is disappointing, though I can't say I didn't see it coming.

Monday, February 22, 2010

Why Do You Never Show Gratitude Upon Rejection?

In case you find yourself keeping track of your own personal rejection, perhaps it is comforting to know that some (bl)agents also keep a tally.  The categories crack me up (i.e., rejections earning advice, queries in first person, Thank-you notes in response to rejection, which creates a storm in the comments section). The upshot over at BookEnds is as follows:
Total Number of Queries: 40
Fiction: 26
Nonfiction: 14
Total Number I Rejected: 40
Um...that's 40 out of 40, no? So, why not just say, "I REJECTED THEM ALL"? Just wondering.

Saturday, February 20, 2010

Rhino-Whino Rejection

It doesn't suit at least two of their editors' needs? No poetic grasslands for grazing? Oh well, what do rhinos know anyway?  They have very small eyes positioned on either side of their fat, fat heads. No real vision.

Thursday, February 18, 2010

Unpublished Novels and the Murdering Harvard Neurobiologist

Can't drum up any interest in your unpublished novels?  Easy-peasy.... if you don't mind the part about murdering some colleagues.  Or maybe it was the three unpublished manuscripts that made Amy Bishop do it. Anyway, just more evidence that we are mostly a reality-crap-t.v. culture now.

Tuesday, February 16, 2010

Enter Contest...Get Critique

These ladies have found a brilliant way to get people to follow their blog: A contest to get critiqued by a literary agent.  I don't know...do we need more agent critiques?  Maybe someone does.  Just thought I'd pass it along, while subtly promoting their blogs.  BTW, it's very sunny and warm where I am, and I am totally chilling, still thinking about the new book, which of course is part of writing, but not doing much else.  It's nice.  I recommend.

Saturday, February 13, 2010

Where In The World Is Jacob Appel?

Blogging you from the airport today (Hope they don't confiscate my laptop).  I received this anonymous email from a clever LROD Mouser and wanted to share it with you:"I was wondering what happened to Jacob Appel, who has been AWOL for quite a while, when I suddenly stumbled upon this article, and now I know that he is Zelig. Or possibly YOU! If not, I thought that you would wish to know. I loved the part about the 4am email.--PeterPeter PipeCleaner (Not My Real Name)"