Thursday, August 16, 2007

Rosemary Ahern No More?

A comment posted on yesterday's blog entry made me laugh out loud. It says:

"Dude, your Rosemary Ahern thing is getting kind of creepy. You're like an abused dog who will latch on to anyone who shows them a drop of kindness. Unfortunately, I can tell you you're reading WAY too much into Ahern's rejection, because in this business, even the nicest rejection is still likely to be a partial form rejection. My collection of short stories was turned down by her, and she compared my writing to Joyce Carol Oates. Two of my friends were also rejected by her, and I showed your letter to them. Their rejections were near-identical to both yours and mine. One friend got compared to O. Henry, and the other was compared to... surprise! ... Flannery O'Connor. So please, please, quit it with the creepy and unsettling Rosemary fixation, or she might slap a restraining order on your sad ass."

Thank God for other mean writers. Otherwise, we'd continue to live out our delusional dreams and feel special in our own little self-addressed stamped envelopes. (Though, here's a question, does no one get a good blog metaphor around here?) Anyway, Dude, I will pay you $50 if you send me all three of these rejection letters for some interesting anonymous posting. What do you say?

UPDATE ON THIS POST: It appears that I have been duped, and that the comment above left by so-called "Joyce Carol Oates" is a joke (or a lie). A funny one, but apparently untrue.


Anonymous said...

Sorry, dude, my friends and I aren't dumb enough to post our rejections on a public blog. Strangely enough, we all hope to not be blackballed in the industry. YM obviously V.

Writer, Rejected said...

Oh, I see. You are maligning my lady, Rosemary, to have some fun at my expense; in truth, you really just don't like my blog, which is all good. You certainly don't have to approve.

But at least I have never posted a single untrue statement or made shit up about anyone, "Joyce Carol Oates." That is seriously not cool.

Anonymice said...

Out of curiousity, how do we know it's untrue? Did someone from her office complain?

It would be sad if an editor went out of her way to construct a helpful and encouraging letter just to have someone try to bash it.

Then again, I'm not sure about posting rejects in the first place, though they are fun to read.

Writer, Rejected said...

No, no. No correction from any editor.

Two blogs on my blogroll have been having trouble with someone who posts obnoxious comments to rile everyone up. Since I usually leave my web URL, and since this person has a pretty unique hostile style, I eventually realized that the post was a hoax.

Anonymous said...

Seems suspicious that three writers who are friends would all get the same rejection from one editor anyway. Plus the person who posted this seems like a real charmer. Yuck!

Anonymous said...

It's not suspicious - Rosemary Ahern is very well-known in the industry. Ask around enough, you'll find quite a few writers who have tried their hand with her. And she's really quite selective, so our round of rejection letters isn't that shocking. We've all also got matching form rejections from The New Yorker, MQR, etc.

I haven't posted on any blogs on your blogroll, trolled comments or anything, so stop being paranoid. I came across this site almost a month ago when a fellow writer sent me a link. I had myself a laugh when I saw the first post about Rosemary, thinking, "Damn, that's sad, she's pinning a lot of importance on that one letter that's actually the standard R.A. thanks-but-no patter" but I didn't say anything about it. Then I saw the creepy restraining-order-bait "fantasies" and I didn't say anything. But yesterday, I finally felt like saying something. Believe me or don't, I don't care, I've seen enough of your blog to know how mulish you are. Nothing short of me sending you the letters would appease you, and that won't happen. For starters, one of my friends has an annual bonfire where he and some of his writer friends get together and toast marshmallows and knock back vodka shots over the ashes of all the rejection letters they collected since the last one. Very cathartic. My other friend throws her rejections out, not every writer keeps them to pore over and post to blogs. Me? I keep all my rejection letters, but that particular one is buried somewhere in my storage room now, I got it almost three years ago, and even if it was on hand, like I said I'm not insane enough to post something on a blog that could come back to haunt me and damage my career.

So believe it or don't, or keep making up crazy consipracy theories involving a mean troller who attacks multiple blogs.

E said...

I don't know if this douche is for real or not. She seems awfully antagonistic and defensive to be an innocent bystander. "I don't care if you believe me" times 100.

And, not to mention, why would posting anonymously here get anyone blackballed? What rejected writer is that important? Finally, "YM obviously V?" WTF? Code? Annoying as hell.

HisGirlFriday said...

Wow - who's the creepy insane one here? It never ceases to amaze me how much time and energy some kooks will spend bashing anonymously on blogs. If you don't like it, why are you reading it?

Besides, I don't know Rosemary Ahern at all but from what I've read so far I'd guess she'd have - yes, anonymouse! A sense of humor!

Anonymous said...

"YM obviously V?" WTF? Code? Annoying as hell.

YMMV = your mileage MAY vary, YM obviously varies = YMMV's less indecisive cousin.

mercury rising said...

It was a witty but fake comment that anonymous "Joyce Carol Oates") wrote. But why so bitter? And on and on again with the term "blackballed." Methinks that's agent talk. Perhaps she's one of WR's spurned agents (or editors), full of envy for Rosemary Ahern. All "JCO" can do is send bitter barbs, challenging the veracity of WR's one sweet rejection.

Bitter, bitter, bitter. Jealous, jealous, jealous. Liar, Liar, Liar.

of anonymice and men said...

dang- online acronyms are really out of control. I think anyone who posts YMMV, or derivatives thereof, obviously gets a lot of blog/forum mileage... might even classify as a "mean troller who attacks multiple blogs."

Anonymous said...

i used to work for her. she's horrid and deserves no more of your time. no more ink for her!