Tuesday, September 30, 2008

Literary Snake Oil Salesman

Look at this bit of crazy!  For $249.95 (love the added touch of it being 5 cents short of $250), you can take an online class at Writers University with your favorite self-promoting literary agent Noah Lukeman (who will undoubtedly sell you one of his many books on query letters, plot, and grammar, or if you're really a sucker perhaps his "bestseller," entitled The First Five Pages).  The course is called:  "From Rejection to Acceptance: The Most Common Mistakes Fiction Writers Make When Approaching an Agent." 

(Mistake #1: Approaching Lukeman.)

8 comments:

Renee Thompson said...

Couple of years ago there was a piece in Poets and Writers by Lukeman, detailing various tips relative to landing an agent. All very good, actually, but here's the kicker: he doesn't accept unsolicited queries, which he never mentioned in the article. So the upshot was "here's how to land an agent...just not me." You gotta laugh, really -- it's funny. Thank God there are plenty of agents out there (mine included) who DO accept unsolicited queries. What would we do without them?

She with little faith said...

And the gospel of Anon said, "She that have faith enough to toucheth his garment, shall be rewarded eternal rewards and there shall be no weeping or gnashing of teeth. She, with much faith, will enter into eternal print and be showered with much from He, most Holy...most eminent Lukeman"
Seriously...give me an *effing break. If I read one more 'how to' by the gods, I think I'm going to throw-up. A lot.
Hear that? That's the sound of my lunch hitting my desk with startling force.

E. said...

How can he sell what's free all over the interwebs? Whatever you think of him, agent Nathan Bransford has an entire blog devoted to answering questions and giving advice -- for free. Preditors & Editors, Poets & Writers, AgentQuery, the archives of Miss Snark... all chock full of how-to goodness, no charge. Google "query letter" and you'll spend days going through the results, some of them bogus, but many the considered opinions of publishing "experts." Number of dollars: zero.

Of course, the real vileness here is the effect of cookie-cutting the opening chapter of any piece of literature, regardless of length, genre, or artistic intent. First five pages my ass.

Cheers!
E.

Anonymous said...

Check out his agency webpage
"Why yes, we are made of awesome"
Okay, I added the quotation marks, but they might as well be there.
I just couldn't help hearing that guy's voice who does movie previews...

Zoe Winters said...

In a world... where you need an agent to get an agent...

Minnie Mouse said...

Ugh.

Anonymous said...

writers university? is that real? shouldn't it be writers' university?

Poor Struggler said...

If this guy spent as much time selling his clients' work as he does posing for his headshots (they're all over the Web), he wouldn't need to supplement his income writing how-to books.