About time for a new book?

I'm starting to feel a bit more like myself after 2.5 years with Long COVID. I still haven't exercised, but I will soon have published a memoir in essays (November 15th 2022). So, there's that. I will post a retrospective of all the rejections I received before getting it published.  It's a little delayed due to circumstances beyond the publisher's control like health crises.  Keep an eye out for it, yes? 

Pay-To-Enter #Literary #Book #Prizes: What's Your Beef, Bro?

It's always cool to win a prize, especially when its a book prize. The USA Best Book Awards are mainly for independent books, though I noticed some of the winners this year were from mainstream publishing houses, which is to say, maybe everyone with any kind of cash leftover in the promotional budget enters into what some people like to call "vanity award" contests. It's not an inexpensive proposal: $199.00 to enter a book in a specific category. Still, someone, or some panel, reads the books and picks a winner, so it's not entirely vanity.  ( I mean, if I paid and automatically became a winner, or if I picked my book as a winner, that would be vanity.) So, criticize all you want. I'm never going to win a National Book Award. So I am delighted that Miracle Girls won a USA Best Book Award. And I'm especially happy that it won in the Literary Fiction category. That just makes me happy. What can I say?

The Problem With #Family: A #Literary Dilemma

So, I've written three drafts of my next book based on this essay, but I hated the way it sounded (too whiny), so I started over entirely. Blank page. And now I am on page 234 of the new and improved version, which is from a much deeper point of view, much more internal. I am getting ready to head into the second half of the book, which deals with disinheritance. I have to say I'm a little overwhelmed at the idea of delving a new into such a hairy topic, but here I go anyway. What makes things all a bit unfun is the fact that my family wants me to stop writing about the topic. I think they wish I would shut the F*** up, or fall off the planet, but I have to write this book. I have to figure out what exactly happened to me and why. I've even found a decent literary method for never mentioning any of them by name: I write about my brothers as The Three. How about that for clever? But, whatever. They don't get it, and never will.
     If they had the capacity to understand, I probably never would have been disinherited (by surprise) in the first place. Someone would have warned me. Anyway, they are all seemingly insulted by the essay, which I think is fairly gentle, to tell you the truth, and not even technically about them. There's barely a mention of them, but everybody has a right to his or her own opinion. Mostly, I've heard from them on the fact that they think we didn't have THAT many guns in the house when we were young. (!) (!!) (Huh?!) (What are you loons talking about?!) We had plenty of guns, believe me, more than I ever hope to see again in one place.
     And you know what else is freaking weird? The members of my entire family have all managed to act like the novel I wrote and finally published did not ever exist. No one has said a word about it to me or to anyone else. They must not ever run into anyone from the old home time: like, the English teachers who have written me notes, or my classmates, or my childhood sweetheart's encouraging family who posted a picture of them holding my book in the local Barnes & Nobles. My family must not go to the dentist either, because it was right there in People Magazine next to Stephen King and Annie Lamott. (My novel did exist. It did exist. I know it existed.) Ah, forgive my crazy: I grew up in a family without mirrors. No one ever reflected anything back at me that seemed even remotely recognizable. Maybe that's why they don't recognize my written version of them. Maybe I am actually in the same bind as The Three; we are blind to one another. I wish we could join together to work our way out, but that is just another fantasy I sometimes have on a Monday afternoon when I am feeling a little blue.
     Sometimes all this is a bit of a head trip, as you can see, but I know I am not the only writer who has ever dealt with the literary dilemma of having a family. Anyone want to share some wise advice, or links on the issue, or general thoughts, encouragements, criticism? I guess I'm feeling a little lonely in all this. Hoping there are still some mice out there to respond.

#Publishing A #Novel: What To Do When The Future Is Behind You

As you may know, dear mice, the effort to get my novel published has been a long and grueling, sweaty workout. I have spent many, many years looking ahead to the time when the book at last would have its day. Today, approaching the year anniversary of the novel's launch, it occurs to me that now all the forward-looking is behind me now.
     This is unexpected, friends.
     It's not that I am light on understanding the temporal and linear nature of the physics of time, or anything; it is, instead, that I am just so used to looking forward for glory, not backward. 
     It's all a bit disturbing to realize the thing I have toiled over has already come to fruition, had a lovely day in the glare of media attention, been read by several people in the world, and is now a thing, separate from me, and in my past.
     Now what?
     I need to look forward to something new. I am writing the memoir, but it's different--maybe just knowing that another book will not be the magic answer to all my human woes makes it so. I invested so much shiny hope into the novel; I believed so whole-heartedly that it would change my life once and for all!
     But no one ever tells you about the year after you publish your first novel. No one ever tells you that seeing the light of your first novel getting published will bring you to a sad realization. And the realization is that there is no actual "it" just around the corner that's going to change who you are and how fantastic your life is. Publishing a novel won't do it, nor will all the fame and fortune in the literary world. (And I'm guessing here based on a tiny, tiny taste.) Nothing does that. So you might as well get right with yourself as you are.
     This is one of the many secret they don't tell you.
     But I will tell you, oh rodents, because here I am, living proof that I am still I, still here, still the same with all the same issues and problems.
     I find this realization both comforting and depressing. I also know that you will not listen to me until you have gone through the experience yourself.  But when you get there, I hope, at least, you'll be a little more prepared for this cold splash of water in the face than I was.
     Peace out, for now.

#Literary Dispatch from The Front Porch

Mice: I am sitting on my front porch with no more readings scheduled and only a few more possible awards that Miracle Girls: A Novel could win as a long shot. It has actually done pretty well, having been honored with the following awards:

• 2015 USA Best Book Award in Literary Fiction
• 2015 Independent Publishers Book: Gold Medal  (See photo above with IPPY seal)
• 2015 Spiritual Book Winner at the Paris Book Festival
• 2015 Spiritual Book Winner at the San Francisco Book Festival
• 2015 Spiritual Book Winner at the Amsterdam Book Festival
• Honorable Mention in Spiritual Fiction at the 2015 Los Angeles Book Festival
• Honorable Mention in General Fiction at the 2015 New York Book Festival
• An IndeFAB 2015 Book of the Year Award Honorable Mention in the LGBT Book Category
• An IndeFAB 2015 Book of the Year Award Nominee in the Religious Book Category
• Lambda Literary Award 2014 Lesbian Fiction Category Finalist 

Anyway, the book and I are resting comfortably with not much else to do. I did find someone to bring it to the Frankfurt Book Fair on the off chance that I might be able to sell some foreign rights, but for the most part, I'm going to think that we are status quo as previously declared.

It's all a little weird.

I am working on the next book (Disinherited: A Memoir), which, honestly, why would I want to go through this again?  I ask that and I had an amazingly wonderful experience! But, then again, what the hell else would I do with myself? Luckily, I've got a bunch of paid work deadlines that will keep me off the streets for awhile.

R.I.P--The Happy Life and Peaceful Death of a Small #Literary #Novel

When I published my first book, which was a short story collection, I was 29 years old. I didn't know that books had a life, and inevitably (for most authors), a quiet and peaceful death (if you're lucky). I thought everything just went on forever: the readings, the interviews, the people who read your book and told you about it. I also thought that there would be a way to build on the thing in order to make the next book bigger, better, and read by more people, which is something that happens for a few people, but not everyone. Because I was dumb, everything that happened with the first book felt like a disappointment, and I missed all the magic.  Youth is wasted....as they say, so what can you do? For most of us, a published book is like an island of ecstasy in an sea of pain. That was the experience I had in publishing when I was young. 

I published Miracle Girls when I was 48, much wiser about life and much calmer about my place in it (thanks to this blog). I know that every book that is born, also will die, and I am hoping for a peaceful ending to this lovely, lovely year. Everything that happened to the book felt like a total miracle, even though I was the one behind all the promotions and basically pulling all the strings. What I learned is that being arrogant and thinking you deserve something from the world is unhelpful and leads to unhappiness. On the other hand, being humble and feeling grateful for everything you get is a much more sustainable and comfortable position.  I had a year that was beyond my imagination with this second book, and I am so happy about it.  Still, though, now it is coming to a close, and I am faced with what appears to be a mixture of sadness and relief.  Mostly, I am glad to get back to writing alone at my computer, where I get to think and not have to comb my hair or look presentable, if you know what I mean.

To write, publish and promote a book well, you really have to have a wide range of many talents: you have to be able to sit alone and dig deep into the painful places; you have to be persistent and wear a bullet proof vest for all the rejections you will get; you have to also be nimble enough to know when you are getting good editorial advice; finally, you have to clean up nicely and do some tap dancing for the media, book buyers, and interviewers. Each effort and accomplishment is exhausting in its own special way. But for now, going back to my book on being disinherited feels like a treat, though it is not an easy topic for me.  (My third book is going to be a happy one, I hope). And when I feel unsure of myself, or beaten down, or exhausted in the writing way, I can still look over at my novel in its pretty pink cover and know that it exists in the world. Maybe somewhere out there someone is reading it.  And that is really and truly amazing, isn't it?

Photos of #MiracleGirls at #BEA2015 #IT'STHEPINKBOOK

The hosts of the IndieFAB Awards (Foreward Reviews) had a table at Book Expo America this year, and you can see in the photo that Miracle Girls is out front (right corner).  It's the flashy pink one. In other news, I did NOT win the Lambda Literary Award, but the novel that did win is an amazing work of fiction: YABO by Alexis De Veaux (Redbone Press),  I read all the finalists in my category, and when I finished Alexis' book I thought, "This one should win." And it did! So the right and just literary judging occurred, in my humble opinion, even though my novel wasn't the winner. This made me happy. Congratulations @AlexisDeVeaux

@AWP Podcast of #Rejection Panel I Was On (I'm The #Bossy One)

Here's a podcast of the #AWP2015 Panel entitled "Rejection! Everything You Always Wanted to Know (But Were Afraid to Ask).  Have a listen. See what you think. You'll note that everybody is talking about how they reject and I'm trying to push through the bullshit. 

#NPR Interview @wfcr885 (New England Public Radio) with me @caschetta about #MiracleGirls and #LGBT #books

The Category of LGBT Books In An Age Of Political Progress; Time To Shelve?

Have a listen, mice....

Anyone Going to @BookExpoAmerica?

Maybe you'll drop by and see #MiracleGirls on display? If so, take a snap shot and send it? Wish I were going to be there myself!

#Miracle Girls Won A Gold Medal #IPPY Book of The Year from @IPPYmag

The Independent Publishers have honored #MiracleGirls with a Gold Medal #Ippy! Who knew? In other news, #Miracle Girls won the Spiritual Category at the Amsterdam Book Festival, the Paris Book Festival, and the San Francisco Book Festival, too!  That's pretty amaze balls, right?

Calling All Mice in #Providence, #Rhode Island for May 28th Reading @Books_on_the_SQ

Anybody? Last bookstore reading in the immediate future.

A Question of #Literary #Awards and #Politics? #Lammys @lambdaliterary

One of the mice from a recent post (about Francine Prose's comment to me about being nominated for a Lambda Literary Award) had this to say about the value of literary awards:

One of your first impressions about Prose's reaction to Lambda was probably the right one. Namely that she--like most artists--resents being labeled a certain variety of author, or her book being slipped into an ordained category. Award committees and the general public tend to want to categorize--and who wants that? No author does, not when you're attempting to capture life in all its dramatic fullness. "Billy Budd, Foretopman" voted best Homoerotic Historical by Lambda. Oi, Melville would say. But isn't it so much more than that?

AND....

I think many women probably do resent being rewarded for being "women writers," in exactly the same way female physicians resent being lauded as "lady doctors." I love Alice Munro and Anne Beattie equally as much as I love Cheever and Nabakov. And my personal love and appreciation for the last two would be neither diminished nor expanded by their having won the "Best Anglo White Male Award" -- but for many other readers, it might. I think decent authors resent the opportunity for such narrowing and misunderstanding of their work being made possible by award committees. Such categories are fundamentally arbitrary. It's a far profounder compliment to praise an average book as good literature, than to award that same book as superb female or gay fiction. And it's easy to see why. The first is based on its merits as art. The second is sanctioned condescension. I think Prose is objecting to the implications of the award given her, and I don't think she has much choice in that. It's the principle at stake--her book and how its understood--not the award itself.

Thoughts? To view my responses check out the comments section here.

What I Learned at the #AWP

First of all: Literary conferences are overwhelming.
Second of all: I saw a lot of people I know and love, both by accident and on purpose
Third of all: I really like my publishers and their authors, and it was nice to belong somewhere
Fourth of all: I would never go to one of these conference if I didn't have a book already published (too much anxiety). So I was very grateful that after 15 years, it is having its day in the sun
Fifth of all: I hung out with an old friend whose husband left at the same time that my girlfriend dumped me many years ago (they were co-workers, but did not leave us for each other). This friend is now so super famous that we couldn't even take two steps or one sip of coffee without people clamoring to speak with her, and it made me so exhausted. I think it is a very hard life to be in the 1% of recognizable, celebrity writers, and I am glad to be just plain unknown me.
Sixth of all: I spoke on the panel "Everything You Always Wanted to Know About Rejection (But Were Afraid to Ask)," and it seemed to me to be better titled "Publishers and People with Literary Power (And Why We're Never Going to Publish You)."  In fact, it made me very depressed to be on that panel. There were lots of false statements made, I thought. And lots of putting a good face on publishing while telling you how "busy I am and why I'll never choose you to be my author."  Ugh. And yet everyone in the audience seemed to swallow it whole and want to know more lies. It went like this:

Audience Question: "What can I do or not to do get published by you?"
Panelist Answer: "Nothing. Forget it. Or blow my socks off...but I can't say how."

Seventh of all: I asked Francine Prose to sign my copy of her new novel, which is nominated for a 2015 Lambda Literary Award in the category of lesbian fiction with my novel. I mentioned this and she looked down upon me coldly and huffed. "If I win that award it's because they didn't read my novel." Which means what? Her novel about a woman-loving Nazi spy and drag car racer who dresses like a man and had her tits removed isn't lesbian fiction? Or maybe she isn't a lesbian (which she is not, if being married to a man counts). Or maybe she meant her book is so, so, so, so much more than merely about a "lesbian," and shouldn't be reduced to labels. Or maybe she is Luke's father? I'm not really sure, but I got a big chill standing there with her, and walked away as quickly as I could. The ceremony announcing winners of the Lambda Award is on June 1st. I guess Prose won't be there, eh. (If you have a kinder or even a more intelligent interpretation, please share. I'm puzzled by the whole encounter.)

UPDATE: I finished reading Prose's novel, and I suppose she meant that no one in their right mind would want to claim her lesbian character as part of their community because she is so lost and mislead, and perhaps one might say "evil," were one to believe in such a thing. I guess the question is: should the LGBT community only claim good characters as their own? Are we beyond that yet? It *is* a book about a lesbian character, after all, and we do claim her as a sister human being, even if some would say she's a monster.  So, I think I'm still confused by the comment. Thoughts?

#Writer,Rejected is going to #AWP. See You Suckers in #Minneapolis?

At the AWP Conference, I'm speaking on a panel called "Everything You Always Wanted to Know About Rejection (But Were Afraid to Ask), Thursday, tomorrow at 10:30 a.m.  I think the feral mice on this blog probably took the fear right out of asking, say 7 or 8 years ago...but, it should still be fun. Remember when rejection was our dirty little secret, and we got death threats for airing our dirty laundry in public.  Ahhhh, those were they days, my little (anona)mousecycles. Also, I'll be signing my novel Thursday (tomorrow) at 2 pm at the Engine Books Publisher's table, in case you don't want to be seen with me in public. I'll let you know how it goes. Or I'll see you there.

#MIRACLE GIRLS Is A Finalist for a 2014 #IndieFab Book of the Year Award in #LGBT and #Religious Fiction

That's pretty nice.

It's About Time We Get A Little Juice on This #Lit #Blog: Are #BookFest Prizes Fake? And Is There Any Such Thing As #Hormone-Fee #Chicken?

In response to my question about being a sucker or not for entering a major book festival operation, a fantastically tart little mouse, calling himself Stephen Cing, said this:

“Perceived value”. LOL. You paid almost a hundred dollars to have your name drawn out of a hat. Like, “No Hormones Added” on chicken packages. Or air in the bottom of packages. Nice. So yes, if you’re looking to sell prose to those who cannot even read labels, and are instead distracted by shiny stickers, inflating value through illiterate means is the way to go. It’s not a scam, but it’s much like fraction-reserve banking, like a Ponzi scheme. The consumers are idiots greater than the schemer. Seriously, anyone who needs and seeks perceived value will never have enough dignity to make it as a literary author.

Is it true?  Are shiny stickers the sign that a writer will never make it as a literary author? Are chicken packages claiming to have no hormones also a lie?  Please help out and put your two cents in.  Let's have this blog revisit its former glory with a good old fashioned literary debate, shall we?

Anyone Going to the #AWP Conference? I'll Be On a Panel, Thursday, April 9 at 10:30 called #Rejection! Everything You Always Wanted to Know (But Were Afraid to Ask)

@AWPWriter, I'm on this panel with Jill Bialosky,  @robspillman,  @melissa_stein,  and  David Baker. The panel is described as: "Top editors from W. W. Norton, Tin House, and the Kenyon Review join emerging writers (including a literary-rejection blog author) to dish about exactly how submissions are evaluated, what it’s like to rebuff so many labors of love, the mysterious hierarchy of rejection slips, whether and how the best work really gets published, tips to avoid surefire rejection—and how to maintain faith in your work and your voice even when rejections keep piling up. Audience questions encouraged!"  Maybe you'll come by and say hello?

#Finalist for A #Lammy Along with #SarahWaters, #FrancineProse and #Anne-Marie McDonald. Who Do You Think Will Win? Hint: #NotMe

 It's cool to be nominated for a prize with people whose work you love. I LOVE the work of the famous writers on this list of finalist nominated for a Lammy Award, and I am going to read all the other books too. It's all very exciting. Three of my all time fav books are Household Saints, Tipping the Velvet, and Fall on Your Knees. So there you have it. I will be delighted to lose to the new novel of any of these wonderful writers. Call me cray, but it's true. I just hope I get to meet them in New York at the Ceremony on June 1st. Congratulations to all the nominees in all the categories too.

A Nice Honorable Mention in the #LosAngelesBookFestival --Legit or a Scam? You Tell Me.

Spiritual book category, which is lovely.  However, this blogger claims it is a scam, but my publisher thinks it's just grand. And this blogger defends the award.  What do you think?