Temporary LROD Closure Due to Long COVID

I'm closing down LROD—temporarily (I hope)—due to the fact that I am still struggling with long COVID. Instead of literary matters (other than I still am at some level a writer), I plan to write about the crazy efforts I'm making to get better.  It's not exactly snake oil, but it is:   low dose Naltrexone, Nitric Oxide Drops (the kind weightlifters take to increase blood flow to their muscles after pumping iron: to be clear, I'm not lifting weights, I'm lying in bed, trying to find ways to exercise without making myself worse), flavonoids, Chinese herbs, vitamins (D, B, C, E), fish oil (fractionated), Co-Q10, Ginseng, CBD, Tylenol (for muscle pain, though again, I'm mostly lying in bed), probiotics, acupuncture.  I'm also in a long COVID clinical trial at a local university.  Guess what that entails.  After a barrage of baseline testing (e.g., glucose tolerance, MRIs, body-fat indices, blood tests, swallowing a body temperature sensor), I will be strapping on scuba-like pants that will circulate heat to my lower body 5 days a week for 8 weeks: 40 minutes sessions of heat therapy.  I keep asking the study coordinator if the other four people who've completed the study report feeling any better. After pressing her for weeks, she finally gave a definitive answer.  "Feeling better is really very subjective."  

     This is how desperate I am to get better.

     Very desperate.

     So far, though: no luck. 

Originality & Impact: When Other #Blogs Rip You Off Without Knowing It #thievingblogs

You know you are a Sarah-Palin-style maverick when everyone blogs your content without giving you any credit. This is particularly amusing because the same originality is what makes it impossible (nearly) to get published these days. You anonymice all remember back in the day (2007) when we started this blog, yes? No one thought it was a good idea to post, let alone discuss, rejection letters. They called us names; they sent threatening legal notices; they wanted to shut us down. It was unseemly for an artist to air her dirty laundry.  Now, not so much any more.  It is fun, expected, and entertaining--almost everywhere you look.  I suppose that is progress....or something.

Check out all of these:

Huffington Post
Mental Floss
Click Hole
Flavor Wire
The Atlantic
Thought Catalog
Business Insider
Buzz Feed
Esquire
The New Yorker
MSN
Reddit
Go Think Big
Bustle 
Open Culture

Plus, so many, many more....

I don't even really blame these dudes for not giving credit where credit is originally due. Who can go back that far when everything is an iteration of an iteration of an iteration of an iteration? There's a huge hunger for content on the World Wide Web, so much so that it's just like manufacturing cheeseburgers. People like to know exactly what they're getting, something they know pretty well already.  

Anatomy of a Rejection Scribble

This rejection says: "Sorry we didn't find anything here," as if there were no words on the page at all, which is a weird-ass thing to write in a rejection, but I suppose the editors meant "anything here we want to publish." The consolation prize is knowing that "your work did receive additional consideration." I guess they kept looking for something there.  The final kiss off: "Try us again, sucker!"

Folded in Half and Shoved in SASE

A little flippant? Or simply to-the-point? It's hard to say. I can't tell if it's cute or irritating. Both, I guess. Certainly, the sign off is a bit much, but what do I know. People have their own style. "Pax!" What's the Latin word for "Give me a break, Dude."

I Must Be in a Bad Mood

I've had writers block before, but this HuffPo thing bugs me a little bit. Not much, but a little. In other news, I'm starting to think about my novel again. Also, I'm a little depressed about publishing.

Regarding Your Blood and Guts

Hmmm....well, same as yesterday, today the future is still yet to be written. There are a couple of editors who are interested but who haven't responded to the herding call yet. I guess it takes some time to get an offer together. So, as usual, you set the rules, and when no one plays by them, you then set them again, which is to say that the rules belong to the other players, and you just sit and wait politely. Tap, tap, tap....nothing. So, we wait some more. In the meantime, I ask you to consider this rejection (and to cross your fingers for me too):

Thank you for considering Muscle and Blood a potential home for your fiction. Unfortunately, we have decided to pass on your story. Discussion led us to believe that your work may benefit from a re-draft, specifically focused on the ending. Please feel free to submit other work in the future, and we wish you the best of luck with your writing. Regards, Christopher Przewloka

Pass We Must At the House of Tin

Why do they bug me at Tin House?  They just do:

Thank you for sending us "Title." Unfortunately, we must pass at this time. Best of luck placing your work elsewhere. Sincerely, Tin House Editors

Why Do They Annoy Me So Much?

Is it the exclamation point? The assumption that we're all relative beginners (ain't that the truth)? Or the claim of being overworked (who isn't)?  Could be also that I once had a grouchy run in with one editrix who runs the operation there. I don't know; just don't love them or their train.

---------- Forwarded message from anonymous LROD mouse ----------
From: Glimmertrain
Date:
Subject: Your Submission
To: writer@rejection.com

Dear Writer: Thank you for submitting "Title". While we won't be publishing this piece, we appreciated the opportunity to read your work! Because we read so many stories, it is
not possible for us to give specific feedback, but, if you're a relative beginner, you may find something of interest here.  


Glimmer Train
Press Reference#:XXXXX

Subject Object Confusion

A friend of mine posted this rejection note on her blog: "I really liked the concept but the story missed its chance to connect with me." Um, what? Who missed what? Or what missed whom? Or...huh? Get it together, people.

LMQ Rejection in 30 Minutes

Here's a note I received from one of you anonymices:

It took me seven years to write my novel and some additional time consulting people and researching agents but a mere half-hour for the literary agency to generate send me this generic-ass response. I guess we know who's more efficient.

Thank you for your recent query regarding representation. Having considered this, we've concluded that LMQ is not going to be the right fit for your project but of course wish you all the best with it. Sincerely, Lippincott Massie McQuilkin, 27 West 20th Street, Suite 305,New York, NY 10011

     "Of course" seems gratuitous. I mean, considering how much time they spent with my "project", they obviously put a lot of thought into their decision and quite naturally such an investment of time would produce a level of investment in the "project" and in my ultimate success as a writer.
     BTW, though I followed the agency's website's instructions and specified the agent I would like to read my work, the response email wasn't from her. Curious. It's almost as if she didn't read it. And nobody else did, either.
     So, in return, LMQ, thanks so much for your speedy response. Of course I appreciate it.

Does Not Enthuse Over Freaky

I really hate the way editors speak to agents sometimes, so weirdly stilted. Here is a prime example. The rejection above says: "We do agree that this is an unusual and impressive first novel. Vincent Eaton has more imagination on each page of his writing than many an author has in a whole book. Absorbing and challenging this book certainly is and there is no doubt that psychological drama has appeal. We do feel, however, that this novel is just too freaky to have other than a modest appeal. For our first list we feel that that appeal is just overly modest. Many thanks for thinking of us, and we look forward to finding a project over which we can mutually enthuse."

Dytman Blow Off

They might have bothered to cut the edges of their scrap rejection a bit more evenly. BTW, that exclamation mark fools me not a bit. A blow off is a blow off. I guess it's meant to be a little rude for those who do not follow instructions.

Waiting For Readers

I don't know about you but I find waiting is one of the hardest things about being a writer. I want to get my final revision to Agent 99, but I am having a little focus group first by asking 5-6 readers who've never seen my novel read it fresh to make sure it does what I want it to do.  Then, I'll ask the new readers a ton of questions. Then, I'll make changes as necessary. Then, I'll send the book off to the agent.  However, waiting for people to read something you've written is pretty unbearable. For a while I thought: Okay, so it's not very enticing, the subject matter isn't compelling, and even my writing can't hold their attention.  Then I realized people are just busy.  I got this back from one of the readers: "I am on page 87 of your novel and I must say it is very good. I thought I might not be interested in it because it is not usually the kind of books I read. I got hooked. You are a very good writer and I expect to read the entire book."  Well, so that's a calming note.  We'll see.  I wish people would read more quickly, but it's Memorial Day weekend, so I might as well chill.

We Considered and Considered It

"Additional consideration" is the consolation prize of rejection. And you can quote me on that. The rejection says: "Debbie: Sorry we didn't find _________ (something?) here, but your work did receive additional consideration. Try us again. --The editors."

Find Another Market

Exclamation point you.

Romancing the Rejection

Editors should really stick to editing and forgo the attempts at humor, don't you think? Just an idea. "The less said about the love scenes, the better," is vaguely amusing. But, in all, I'm trying to forget, too.

More Advice From the Discontented

The anonymous from yesterday's complaint, posted this clarification:

I wrote the post that you quote from. You chose not to include the last sentence: "Instead, examine how the publishing world works, not the forms they send out to losers (like me)." Don't misunderstand me -- I'm not complaining about the omission -- but I think it indicates that what I suggest is not a direction you want to take. But it's a meaningful one. I read the responses above and I didn't sense much substance or spirit. It's like people are saying, Yes, I like to visit here. For the last six months or so I stop by your blog infrequently, see a rejection, see that there are a few (or no) comments, don't read anything, and move on. If you aren't willing (or don't have the will) to move in a new direction, I'd say call it a day, w/r. Though I hope you don't.

Here's the advice that has been doled out from day one of my starting this blog: 1) Write your novel. (Answer: I am writing my novel; every day. I'm also earning a living as a writer in a competitive industry that pays pretty damn well. Don't tell me to write my novel; it's the only thing I do on a regular basis, save for brush my teeth.) And 2) Shut down this blog; it's stupid/annoying/boring/too contentious/haughty/dangerous. (Answer: Thanks to all the respondents for answering the survey question from yesterday because it's been helpful to me. You know what I realized? I actually like my blog. So, go start your own fucking blog if you want something different. I post literary rejections here; hence the name.) Peace out. I've had a bad day.

Ye Old Elusive Spark & Chase

Writes the Editor to the Agent whilst Rejecting the Author's Work:

"Sorry you’ve had to chase on this, and I’m also sorry to say that it’s not going to be one for us. The writing, for me, just didn’t seem to have the elusive spark."

(Why do they speak to each other this way?)

What's So New About Ohio

This rejection is just in from an LROD reader:

Dear Author: We are sorry these poems did not work out for New Ohio Review, but please consider submitting other poems to our contest (deadline March 10) -- the entry fee includes a one-year subscription. See our guidelines. Best Wishes, The Editors

Says the recipient of this rejection: "I submitted fiction. Not poetry." Because the electronic submission do-hickey listed this writer's submission as fiction, there is some question about the error. Like, did someone press the wrong button? Or did no one really read the work? 

Ready For Your Manuscript

Every place probably has a pile of rejections just like this. It offers a different perspective, doesn't it?