Wednesday, July 28, 2010

Proof of Authenticity (Yesterday's Post)

Oh ye of little faith and big conspiracies! Yesterday's anonymous poster so wants you to know s/he is no scam artist, or double agent from AuthorHouse, that s/he sent me these fine documents of authenticity:

There's also this:

From: Anonymous Sent: Yesterday To: Shane Duff Subject: Self-Publishing Question

Dear Mr. Duff,

Thank you for informing me of the AuthorHouse discount. I have a couple of questions about self-publishing (not necessarily regarding the offer specifically).

I do have an almost completed children's/young adult novel (~ 60,000 words), which I was about to query with a children's book literary agency. I'm also working on other projects, including a collection of horror stories.

Can you tell me a bit about the differences/advantages between self-publishing & following the regular route of literary agents? On the AuthorHouse website, I saw an attractive package for 795 pounds. If I were to choose this option, would I obtain similar benefits that I would receive with a literary agent & publishing house? I've read of opposing views on the necessity of an agent & I am confused.

Also, I reside in [name of place]. Would this be a hindrance in signing a contract?

Thanks for your time,
S. Ali

And this:

From: Shane Duff
Subject: RE: Publishing with AuthorHouse
To: Anonymous
Date: Yesterday

Hi [Name of Writer],
     Thank you for the response. I just want to ask for your contact number, if you don’t mind so that we can discuss about publishing over the phone. For your manuscript, are their pictures included? Are they in black n white? Or colored? How many are they? I just need to get this information so that I can offer you a package. We have different package for colored books (children’s book). About the £795 Basic Paperback Package, your manuscript will be in paperback and you can insert up to 10 black n white pictures for free. But for the cover of your book, it will be in full colour, laminated at no extra cost. You can also add up to 48-740 pages for this package.
     About Traditional publishing, they may or may not give authors money upfront. Some authors receive zero money upfront and these are real publishers,. But if the traditional publishers gave you money up front an advance, you want see a dime of those earned royalties until your book has paid back the money that they gave you upfront. Plus they keep the rights to your books for a duration of time.
Literary agents talk money to traditional publishers. But it’s like this, unless you get a legitimate Literary Agent to represent you, to me self-publishing is a better choice for un-published, unknown and new authors, even vanity publishing is a better choice for such authors. For the rich, subsidy publishing is the choice; because they want have to lift a finger after they have written their books. So if authors have tried several times to get their books published by traditional publishers and have tried to get a legitimate literary agent and fail, go for it. Only 1% authors achieve that traditional publishing success. I just wouldn’t keep waste my time with traditional publishers nor legitimate literary agents. Because they make up all kinds of excuses as to why they can’t publish your work and literary agents make up all kinds of reasons why they can’t represent you and a lot of the time, it’s because they are bombarded with other works. I have read a lot of traditional published books and vanity, subsidy and self-published books by authors and they are all the same. There are bad books by traditional published author and good books by traditional published authors and the same with vanity, subsidy and self-published authors. If it’s a good story, then don’t keep begging traditional publishers and literary agents, the story needs to be read and enjoyed, so publish it. Focus on getting people hooked on your works, so you can build your audience. You know what this means; the money will follow.”
     Here at AuthorHouse we allow you to retain all the rights to your book and be in charge of every part of the process. From the cover design to the layout of the interior pages, all work is done to your vision and specifications. AuthorHouse makes your book available for sale through over 44,000 resellers and online bookshops world wide. No other self-publishing company in the world has a larger network of retailers. As an author, you should make sure that if a customer wishes to purchase your book, they are able to do so from the most places possible. Every AuthorHouse title is custom-designed from the ground up to your specifications. There are no templates used like many other publishers, so your book is not a "cookie cutter" book and is not lumped in with other similar books. It is important that your book looks different from others you are competing with to set your book apart and have the competitive advantage necessary. AuthorHouse does not take 6 months or more to bring your book to market, like many other publishers. We are well-staffed, so the process only takes 3-4 months with the option of having your first paperback in your hands.
With AuthorHouse, we believe that all books should be given a chance to be published and that all authors should be published. Therefore, we accept all manuscripts (with the exceptions of pornography and hate material). In this age of technology, we still believe in the personal touch. During each step of the process from submitting your manuscript to the production stage to the publication and all the way to the promotional stage. You will have a personal contact to guide you through each step and to keep you up-to-date during the process. We do not force you to buy hundreds or thousands of books. Our “print-on-demand” technology allows us to print just one copy or thousands of copies of your book. In addition, we print them only after orders are placed, which means your book will never go out of print as long as AuthorHouse exist.
     We have an open-ended contract, so your always free to go if your not satisfied with our services. All you need to do is to sign up with the package so that you can avail of the promotion that we have for this month. It’s okay if your in Trinidad, I will be the one to fill-up the forms for you and process the payment. It will be more convenient in your part as well. Hope I was able to answer all your questions. Just inform me if your ready to proceed so that we can sign you up for the package and start the publishing right away. Rest assured that when you publish with us, your in good hands. I’ll wait for your confirmation.
     Thank you.
     Best regards,Shane Duff, Publishing Consultant, AuthorHouse UK Ltd.,


self-publish and perish said...

You'll get my confirmation in hell, amigo.

Anonymous said...

Perhaps Mr. Shane Duff will earn enough from his exploits to pay for some English language usage lessons for himself.

Anonymous said...