Thursday, January 17, 2008

The Ultimate Rejection Letter

The Individual Voice found a nice big rejection present for us at Chaos Matrix. It's not literary, but it is pretty damn funny. It is supposedly real and goes like this:
Herbert A. Millington
Chair - Search Committee
412A Clarkson Hall, Whitson University
College Hill, MA 34109

Dear Professor Millington,

Thank you for your letter of March 16. After careful consideration, I regret to inform you that I am unable to accept your refusal to offer me an assistant professor position in your department.

This year I have been particularly fortunate in receiving an unusually large number of rejection letters. With such a varied and promising field of candidates, it is impossible for me to accept all refusals.

Despite Whitson's outstanding qualifications and previous experience in rejecting applicants, I find that your rejection does not meet my needs at this time. Therefore, I will assume the position of assistant professor in your department this August. I look forward to seeing you then.

Best of luck in rejecting future applicants.

Chris L. Jensen

I think we've all been there.


The Quoibler said...

Now THIS is damn funny! I want to believe it's real, but there's a part of me that thinks it was written, but never sent. Still... it tickled my funnybone on a glum Thursday morning...


Square1 said...

Now if I was in H.R. and received this letter, I would first laugh my butt off, and then fight to get him hired just for having the gumption to do this.

Anonymous said...

you're being discussed here

WriterKat said...

I love that letter. Hilarious! I hope it was real and the guy did get the job.

Reminds me of my marriage. I wouldn't let my husband not marry me. Worked out pretty good. :-)

A Writer said...

My favorite part of that post on the Millions blog is where the person is "saddened" by the "bitterness and wrath here"...and advises W, R to stop blaming the rejecting magazines and start subscribing to them.

Because you should want to say "please, sir, may I have another" by rewarding a journal which has rejected you...with your money?

Am I missing something?


TIV: the individual voice said...

I don't think we are bitter or wrathful at all. I think we're all wannabe stand-up comics having one big, hilarious pity-party. WR: keep checking out the comments on my post bestowing your gift. David Rochester tells an amazing story of two book rejections. said...

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