The Individual Voice found a nice big rejection present for us at Chaos Matrix. It's not literary, but it is pretty damn funny. It is supposedly real and goes like this: Herbert A. Millington
Chair - Search Committee
412A Clarkson Hall, Whitson University
College Hill, MA 34109
Chair - Search Committee
412A Clarkson Hall, Whitson University
College Hill, MA 34109
Dear Professor Millington,
Thank you for your letter of March 16. After careful consideration, I regret to inform you that I am unable to accept your refusal to offer me an assistant professor position in your department.
This year I have been particularly fortunate in receiving an unusually large number of rejection letters. With such a varied and promising field of candidates, it is impossible for me to accept all refusals.
Despite Whitson's outstanding qualifications and previous experience in rejecting applicants, I find that your rejection does not meet my needs at this time. Therefore, I will assume the position of assistant professor in your department this August. I look forward to seeing you then.
Best of luck in rejecting future applicants.
Sincerely,
Chris L. Jensen
I think we've all been there.
7 comments:
Now THIS is damn funny! I want to believe it's real, but there's a part of me that thinks it was written, but never sent. Still... it tickled my funnybone on a glum Thursday morning...
Q
Now if I was in H.R. and received this letter, I would first laugh my butt off, and then fight to get him hired just for having the gumption to do this.
http://www.themillionsblog.com/2008/01/art-of-rejection.html#links
you're being discussed here
I love that letter. Hilarious! I hope it was real and the guy did get the job.
Reminds me of my marriage. I wouldn't let my husband not marry me. Worked out pretty good. :-)
My favorite part of that post on the Millions blog is where the person is "saddened" by the "bitterness and wrath here"...and advises W, R to stop blaming the rejecting magazines and start subscribing to them.
Because you should want to say "please, sir, may I have another" by rewarding a journal which has rejected you...with your money?
Am I missing something?
A.W.
I don't think we are bitter or wrathful at all. I think we're all wannabe stand-up comics having one big, hilarious pity-party. WR: keep checking out the comments on my post bestowing your gift. David Rochester tells an amazing story of two book rejections.
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