---------- Forwarded message from anonymous LROD mouse ----------
From: Glimmertrain
Date:
Subject: Your Submission
To: writer@rejection.com
Dear Writer: Thank you for submitting "Title". While we won't be publishing this piece, we appreciated the opportunity to read your work! Because we read so many stories, it is
not possible for us to give specific feedback, but, if you're a relative beginner, you may find something of interest here
5 comments:
Glimmertrain's helpful advice to new writers who weren't asking for advice doesn't come across as helpful.
Yes it is all good advice (and I'm sure if I was an editor/reader ploughing through a never ending slush pile I'd be tempted to send out a similar pamphlet with my rejection letters), but offering unsolicited advice written in a chirpy-pompous tone? Fail!
The letter indicates they read 40,000 stories a year. That's over 100 per day, every day of the year. How is that possible? It's not. They likely did not read your story. So what about the reading fee? (!).
On a lighter note, their letter contains a brilliant flarf poem:
A faint smile curling his lips
His encircling arm
The stupidest thing I ever heard
Over my dead body
Gut feeling Tall
Will owy blond o
Shest I fled a sob o
Wel fare mother
o Hew a sareal
psychopath o
Croc o dilete
ars o Herface
fra me d by
au burn
curls
I can trump almost all rejections on this blog. I have been rejected by professional editors! I have contacted two famous NY-based editors, one turned me down nicely ("sensibilities don't match"), the other was rather harsh ("your writing is stiff and amateurish"). Jeez, that's why I need help, people.
I am trying to steel myself to approach the next two on my list. Fun.
Perfect photo.
There are a couple of things I would say about the Glimmer Train girls. Firstly, they are editors, and to have an editor actually reading your work, rather than a doped up intern, is an advantage. I was a medalist (yes, first, second, or third!) in a contest of theirs years ago, and they picked me out of the blue with a shitty cover letter. So this is a major plus over sending to a journal where a twenty-something half on her twitter account, a quarter on her boyfriend, and another quarter on the journals SHE wants to send to, is the first line of defense.
Anywhere you can get direct to an editor is worth cheering for, even if those editors reject you. Someone should write an essay (you should! you!) about how the youth are the gate keepers at these places. The youth! One hand on the computer, one hand down their pants!
I got my own rejection from Ploughshares a few days ago. First I cried, then I laughed. Because you know what? Whoever read that story and rejected me will, in short order, be serving my coffee at Starbucks.
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