Books Are Easier to Read than to Write

Lev Grossman breaks it all down in the WSJ: Good Books Don't Have to Be Hard. "The pleasure of reading stories that don't bore." Favorite quotations from the article (so many to choose from):

1) "Plot makes perverts of us all."

2) "Lyricism is on the wane, and suspense and humor and pacing are shedding their stigmas and taking their place as the core literary technologies of the 21st century."

3) "The true postmodern novel is here, hiding in plain sight."

Lordy.

Now That's A Literary Career

I think Lorrie Moore is the bomb. I'm eager to read her new book. You thinks she ever suffered through rejections like we do?

Uncommonly Well-Written for Tin House

Here's the thing about Tin House. No matter how you get to them, no matter how personal your relationship is to the editor who promises her colleague, who is your friend's friend, that she will read the manuscript personally; no matter how often you are invited to send more , the damn thing always gets read by an assistant, who pretends to represent the whole place. In this case, Tony Perez, who decides my fate by adding a tidbit to the standard rejections thusly: "We found [title of novel] to be uncommonly well-written and, for the most part, [an] interesting read." We? Doubtful. But, it is a nice little bone he tossed me, so I should shut up and be happy. Oddly, Perez has rejected this novel before for a different editor there (without reading it, I surmise), so I guess I should also be happy someone had an actual look at it. But here's the thing: Nanci McCloskey should have read the thing herself, as promised, but she did not.

Oh well, that's just how they roll over there at the house of tin. I hear it's a snake pit in there. (BTW, for those keeping track, I only have one more rejection to go before I shut this effort down for awhile.)

The Nicest Ever

Says this anonymous reject: "This agent had passed on a nonfiction project I was ghostwriting for someone else. When it came time to shop my novel, I thought I'd take advantage of my foot having been ever so slightly in his door. As it turns out, it was the nicest rejection letter I could have hoped for."

Begin forwarded message:
From: "Submissions"
Subject: RE: Agent query from Bob Krim associate

Dear Writer,

It’s so nice to hear from you and to get a chance to read your novel. Ike and I thank you for the opportunity to consider it. There is much to admire in your work. It’s an incredibly intriguing premise to base a novel on an 17th century English folk song. We both loved how you follow the poem's lyrics but also make colorful embellishments of your own. The descriptions of life at the Barnard estate, spring festivals in Lancashire County, and background history developed for each main character are all rich and add important substance to the novel. Unfortunately, however, I’m sorry to say that [TITLE OF BOOK] did not garner the unanimous support we require when taking on a new client. We are forced to be particularly cautious about representation given the intense competition in today’s marketplace, and there were concerns that there was a bit more “tell” than “show” here in the novel. Additionally, while characters based on a folk song are potentially fascinating, we did not connect with them quite as much as we would have liked.

Fiction is such a tough sell these days and we must be incredibly selective about the few projects we take on, but do know that opinions differ greatly in this industry. We could certainly imagine another agent being quite enthusiastic about this. We wish you the very best of luck and hope to see your name on a bookshelf soon.

Kind regards,
Katherine

Katherine L. Flynn
Editorial Manager
Kneerim & Williams
at Fish and Richardson PC
225 Franklin Street
Boston, MA 02110
www.fr.com/kwfr

The Query: Queer-Eyed

I sigh for the queer query letter, that strange beast. So much is made of it...so very much. Here is Jane Friedman's take on its 5 essential elements. (Remember the other Jane Friedman? She got fired from her position as CEO of HarperCollins and is starting an eBook enterprise.) Anyway, for the query, it goes like this: (1) personalization, (2) hook, (3) bio, (4) basic info, (5) opening/closing. Sounds reasonable....zzzzzzzzz

Same Old, Same Old

How many years have they been talking about "today's extremely competitive market"? Now it's just dead. Funny how this is precisely the moment I finally finish my own novel. (Ta-da, everybody...radio silence.)

Who Loves to Love You, Baby?

All right, all you anonymice, here's one more rejection from me. I've got the novel out with one more agent and also an editor at a small publishing house (most likely a no-go). So, I think I am drawing to the close of this particular push toward my dream. I feel a little sheepish about this statement. And I hate to be contrary to the philosophy of "The Secret," but I'm forced to be a realist. I'm going to give it a rest for awhile after the final rejections come in, and start on something new. Or not. Whatever. I'm a wee depressed at the moment, so nothing feels very interesting. Maybe, a nap.

Anyway, here's the latest:

Dear Writer, Rejected

I would have loved to have loved this novel.

But I just didn't fall for the voice as much as I need to in these parlous fiction times. I hope one of the other readers is eager to represent the book. I've been wrong so many times on what might sell--countless. And I'd bet you can count on my being wrong on this one.

I do wish you great good success with the book.

Best, Agenty McAgent

p.s. Parlous--really? Didn't that word go out with Henry VIII?

Don't Shoot Your Web

What I wouldn't give to have Spidey on the corner of my next rejection. Speaking of...I'm pretty sure I've got three new ones on the way. Just a feeling. I've had a bad. I'm going to have to figure out how to let go and get going on the next project. Not easy, I fear. Not easy.

Really -- Bed Bugs?

So, did you hear about the infestation at Penguin Group? Talk about a plague upon your (publishing) house. It makes you wonder what's next, doesn't it? Boils, Frogs, more Fake Memoirs.

When The New Yorker Used Typewriters

Remember?

Glad You Survived...But Your Work is Not Suitable

Let's say you survive 18 months in Auschwitz, as a teenager, and afterward, your girlfriend urges you to send an excerpt from the memoir you've written of your incredible life to the Saturday Evening Post and Harper's...and they reject you. I mean, crap-on-a-cracker, publish the guy. Am I wrong? Anyway, Pierre Berg got with a writer and published this book, so it worked out in the end. I am hopeful that it always does, but I'll let you know.

I Had To Use the Rest Room

I was in a Barnes & Noble this evening after watching that movie Julie & Julia -- you know, the one about publishing -- and I noticed that all the posters for book signings and readings were for celebrity authors. (Seriously, Juliette Binoche, Wallace Shawn, and Daryl Hannah.) It's just so distressing. I don't tend to stop into big bookstore chains anymore...they make my skin crawl and they dash my hopes to the ground every time. It's kind of like believing that if you write a good book, it will get published, only to learn that it's just too late for you. And yet, there it was in living color, 4 stories of shelves jam-packed with other people's books for sale. Honestly, sometimes I just don't get it.

Not What The 5th Wall Wants

There was no explanation with this rejection letter, but I believe The 5th Wall sent back writer Elaine Hatfield's query letter with the following notations to indicate they were not going to publish her short story.

Famous Blogger=Blook Deals Galore

This cracked me up. Luckily, I think fame is overrated.

Luck With Your Next

Here's one from Merwin circa 1949. Love the old ones; makes me feel part of a venerable tradition.