Jim Thomas Likes it Gentle, But Not Enough

A reader sent in this Random House rejection, which is rife with disappointment:

"I really wanted to like this one, and a lot of it I do like....I was swept away by the love story. I think the [particular ethnicity] angle is used to good effect and makes this a little different from what's out there. There's a sweetness to [author's first name's] writing that's nice, too. Overall, however, I didn't find myself trusting the voice. Exposition and character don't feel as evolved as they should; they seem sketched out, a bit simplistic. It's too bad, too, because, as noted, there's a lovely gentleness to [author's first name's] hand. But not enough of this manuscript is hitting for me to feel comfortable taking it on and trusting that we can take it the rest of the way. Nick also read it and felt similarly, liking the love story but feeling a bit let down by the rest. Frustrating!"

I wish some fine editor would do a nice thing and actually edit a work that they like "a lot of." I guess an editor has to like all of it, or like it enough, or trust it more, and if he doesn't, I guess it doesn't matter how sweet and gentle the writer's hand is, or whether or not there was a sweeping away by good old fashioned love. Love is disappointing, after all, as is literature. (It can also be sexually frustrating, apparently.) Alas!

Ad Nonsense

I got an interesting missive from Google today, indicating that instead of the ridiculous ads for sofas and scammy literary agencies (see the bottom of my blog), I can customize and tailor and hand-pick my own ads. Just for fun, I've decided to customize some google ads on my site (look to the right). I chose the most suitable topics I could find; that's right, science, animals, and sports. You can get cheerleading uniforms here, now, china golf (whatever that is) and cheap ski lessons! I can't wait to see what exotic animals and science nerds show up.

Whatever you do, though, don't click the bastard. This is purely for the purpose of making fun of lame google ads. What will they think of next?

Annoying New Millennium

Don Williams, the editor of New Millennium Writings, and the mad-Max of maniacally frequent fiction and nonfiction contests, writes me emails more often than my spouse, my mother, my agent, and my best friend....combined. I think he must have taken aggressive marketing classes. I'm telling you, I cannot open my email without seeing his name. But, alas, it puts me off.

Now Even My Blog Works Against Me?

Apparently some editors at literary journals (online or otherwise) will now not consider work that's been posted on your personal blog (even just in draft form) because they consider the work to be previously published.

Is this fair or unfair? Let's have a debate.

Smooth Talker Wes Adams

A reader sent in this rejection from FSG's Wes Adams:

"I think [the writer's] heart is in exactly the right place in these spirited pages and yet I agree that he is in need of strong editorial direction. Unfortunately, though I tried, I just don't feel inspired enough by one or the other of the two main parts of this enterprise--the writing or the story--to believe that I would have the right vision and energy for the job. I enjoyed the chance to consider this, though, and I hope that I'll be seeing this out there in the world between boards before too long. "

It seems to me that Wes is indeed the kind of guy who knows when a heart is in exactly the right place. He hopes to see a manuscript between the boards! That's a lot of smooth talking lingo, no? I particularly like his final punt: he doesn't like a) the writing and b) the story. Oy vey! What's left?

Heartbreak Rejection

It's a real kick in the pants when two people beat you out for the Flannery O'Connor Fiction Prize, which includes publication of your short story collection. So much for the fantasy that your manuscript was next in line for glory. This rejection came in today's mail from the University of Georgia Press. For all those who were worried that I'd win and then start stalking Rosemary Ahern in earnest, you can rest easy. No such luck.

This one really hurts.

Presidential Respect

According to Sam Stein over at The Huffington Post, Hilary Clinton led her colleagues in a move not to cross the picket line to participate in CBS' Democratic debate scheduled for December 10th, should the workers decide to strike. Senator Clinton said this about her decision: "The workers at CBS News have been without a contract for close to two and a half years. It is my hope that both sides will reach an agreement that results in a secure contract for the workers at CBS News. But let me be clear: I will honor the picket line if the workers at CBS News decide to strike." Following her announcement, Barack Obama and John Edward said they would also honor the strike.

I like that the Hilster refers to the writers as workers. As it should be.

Dan Lazar Wants Magic

A reader sent this line in from a rejection by Dan Lazar who is an agent and all-around nice guy at Writer's House: "I'm afraid this one isn't striking hard enough magic with me." (The writer adds, "And I don't write fantasy OR magic realism." )

Though I respect Dan, I'm thinking striking hard enough magic with me may really take the cake for weird rejection language. Maybe he was having an off day, or maybe one gets bored of the usual love-romance-dating metaphors after the thousandth rejection letter.

Rejection Confection

I recently had a story accepted at one literary journal and had to withdraw a simultaneous submission from another. I won't say which magazine because not long ago someone figured out my identity based on a letter I had written (as had been predicted by many readers of this blog), and where's the fun in that? So, here's the reversal rejection minus the names:

Dear Fiction Editor: I am writing to respectfully withdraw my story from your consideration, as submitted on [date in 2007], about [number >8] months ago. The story has been accepted elsewhere for publication. I have a sense that it matters very little to you, but I thought I'd be polite anyway and get in touch to let you know. Thanks so much.

Best, Writer, Rejected

As you can see I'm geting saucy.

Democratic Slush Pile?

The Invidivual Voice has unearthed something called the Democratic Slushpile. Readers will vote on which slush-pile entries should be published. In a recent post, the Individual Voice says: "While on the surface this appears democratic, the thought of having to read through the Dreaded Slush Pile for free seems like slave labor and yet another Slush Pile Conspiracy." Something about this idea seems terrible. Any formed opinions out there on this one?

It's a Googlazine Just For You

According to a recent techcrunch post, Google is going to start letting bloggers create customized print magazines with customized ads. But if the ads are anything like they are on my blog, they are hardly customized. Remember the Ikea sofa? And anyway, wait a second, aren't we trying to escape printed matter? Isn't that the beauty of the blog?

One Story, One Donation

A couple of writers who were rejected from One Story sent me the latest correspondence they received from the hot literary journal, which has been written up in the New York Times as "a little spot of hope":

Help Make One Story a Long Story

Dear friends,

One Story is proud to announce a new chapter in ourmission to save the short story. Recently, we have been granted charitable status by the IRS. After five years of publishing out of our apartments,volunteering our time, and scrambling for resources, we will now be able to ensure One Story’s future. We have already been awarded our first grant by the New York State Council on the Arts. Our goal is to build a large community of readers who share our passion for short stories. We want One Story to be a permanent part of the literary landscape, atop magazine that protects this unique form of American literature. Make One Story your story, by contributing to this effort. We are seeking an engaged group of donors who will help us reach our goals by contributing funds, sharing contacts, and volunteering time. No amount is too small. We’d even love your ideas about where you’d like to see your donations have impact, and what special events would spur you and your friends toextend your support. Please visit one-story.com and join us today inpublishing One Story.

Sincerely, Maribeth Batcha

PS After five years of running on a shoe-string budget, our printer bills have started to pile up. Adonation today will truly help see One Story through this transition period! Click here to help!

I don't know: "Here's $50; publish my story." How about that for a suggestion?

Amazon Launches E-Book

In case you thought books were dying and soon there'd be no more rejections for you, Amazon is announcing a long, healthy, lively future for books (ie, the e-book) I know, snooze. But Newsweek has the scoop, which is worth reading if you can stomach Jeff Bezos, the Amazon guy taking credit for re-inventing the wheel. Perhaps this is truly what's going to happen next in publishing. Who knows? I just see it as a continuation of the rejection.

Nothing new there. And so it goes.

(Frank) Rich Rejection Reversal

As usual that diabolical genius Frank Rich put me to shame about my own personal lack of political sophistication. In his Sunday New York Times opinion piece, entitled What 'That Regan Woman' Knows, he places the Judith Regan-HarperCollin's lawsuit beautifully into relevant perspective: "She knows a lot about Mr. Kerik, Mr. Giuliani and the Murdoch empire. And she could talk." That means I have to redact my original rejection of her story, which wouldn't be so embarrassing if there were a precedent for it.

Does anyone out there want to take back a rejection of my fiction, too?

Writer's Strike = Books

A Pepperdine University study reported in the Washington Post found that 42% of Americans surveyed said that if the networks have to resort to airing reruns to fill their schedules during the writer's strike, they would read more. So if the strike continues, it will create a bigger reading audience, which means we'll have a better chance at getting our books published.

Ironic, isn't it? No matter how you slice it, many thousands of writers are suffering somewhere.