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Sunday, March 16, 2008

It's Not You...It's We

An anonymous LROD reader sent in this rejection from an anonymous source, which I assume is a literary magazine or a small press: "We regret to inform you that, for whatever reason, your manuscript was not selected for publication. Please note that this does not reflect badly upon you, as a writer, but upon we, as a publication."

It reflects badly on they, all right!

Saturday, March 15, 2008

Weekend Musing


"The stupid believe that to be truthful is easy; only the artist, the great artist, knowns how difficult it is."
--Willa Cather

Friday, March 14, 2008

Blog Tips on Rejection

Many bloggers appear to be attempting to deal with literary rejection by blogging on the subject. Here are a few noteworthy examples:
  • Lyrbrandon's weblog runs an article entitled "Tips for Dealing with Rejection from a Writer Who Knows" by Roy A. Barnes (Highlight: "During a five-week stretch in 2005, I pegged 26 rejections, including seven in one 24-hour span. In that same time frame, I garnered only one acceptance. My mentor of seven years characterized this experience as a rejection tsunami.")

  • Blogging in Black posts a piece called "5 Tips for Dealing with Rejection" by Tee C. Royal

  • Karma's blog offers a Rejection Bites series. (Highlight: "Contrary to popular belief, the purpose [of rejection] is not necessarily to sift the good writers from the bad. No, no, no. Plenty of good writers are rejected every single day! Rejection does serve to sift the persistent writers from the timid.")

Thursday, March 13, 2008

Save This Book!

Check out this amazing blog post at Author! Author! about what rejections were like in the 1950's. You think we've got it bad? See what Anne Mini remembers hearing tell from her mother Kleo Apostolides Dick Mini and her mother's first husband,Philip K. Dick, as they struggled to get published.

Here are some highlights to an excellent article:

"One of the great advantages of growing up in a family of writers (my father, uncle, brother, and a hefty percentage of the family’s friends all hammered away on the same anvil) is not only seeing with one’s own wee eyes that making a living at it is indeed possible, but also hearing from one’s cradle continual confirmation that yes, baby, even the most talented writers on earth have had to struggle with rejection. Or, to be precise, one is told that back in the day, it wasn’t easy, either. Heck, writers in the 40s and 50s evidently had to walk uphill both ways to the post office in three feet of snow to submit hand-typed manuscripts to agents and editors.

Return with me now to those thrilling days of yesteryear, when books were widely read, writers didn’t need agents, and the photocopier had not yet been invented. Prior to personal computers (and nice laser printers in workplaces that might conceivably be accessible after the boss goes home for the day), a writer could not print out spare copies of your precious manuscript to submit to every Tom, Dick, and Random House in the biz; equally obviously, no sane human being would send out his only copy.

So how did writers reproduce their work to submit to several publishing houses? They retyped it, that’s how. Every single page.

This is the origin of the SASE, in case any of you had been wondering: getting their rejected manuscripts back would save writers weeks of retyping time...

When a short story was rejected — as, in the beginning, all of Philip’s and Kleo’s were — and landed once again in their mailbox with the accuracy of a well-flung boomerang, they acted as professional writers should act: they submitted the rejected story to another magazine immediately. To minimize retyping, they would iron any pages that had gotten bent in the mail, slip the manuscript into a fresh envelope (yes, with a fresh SASE), and pop it in the mail.

How many? Well, no one knows for sure anymore (since occasionally the only copy of a story got sent by mistake, some inevitably got lost), but one day, the young couple opened their front door to find 17 rejected manuscripts spread all over their miniscule front porch."

So, just think, we could be ironing bent pages, folks. We could be typing fresh copies of every page. It is a luxury that we get to sit around this blog and bitch about our misfortunate. I actually found Anne Mini's article quite inspirational, until I got to the part about her own memoir, A Family Darkly: Love, Loss, and the Final Passions of Philip K. Dick, which is...guess what?...languishing unpublished due to woes you and I only have nightmares about.

This is a very good writer, people, with something to say about an interesting literary life; this is a book writers would really want to read, and I bet it's not fabricated! But, you know how it goes; they can get O.J. Simpson into print, but they can't work out the legal details of the Dick estate. Isn't that always the way?

Alas, I Fear

An anonymous LROD reader sent in this irritating rejection, received from a non-mainstream press: Dear Writer, Rejected: I think that what you have here is a wonderful , original idea. But, alas, I fear it is much better an idea than it would be a book. Still, I would like very much for you to prove me wrong, and I wish you all success with this proposal. Signed, (Annoying) Editor

Our rejected writer added this comment: "So much for the theory that originality is the domain of the small press."

Indeed. (Prove this wrong.)

Wednesday, March 12, 2008

Kerouac's Rejection Wisdom

An inspiring post over at Circe's Kitchen concerning our old friend Jack Kerouac. Here's a highlight:

Kerouac carried his unpublished novels around for seven years, including the ones that put him in the headlines, On the Road and Dharma Bums. Seven years of rejection left him exhausted and downtrodden so when fame finally arrived, he didn't know how to act. How do you suddenly revel in being the star when your light was pushed away for so long?

Still, it's a testament to human faith and courage that he held on for so long and was then able to leave something behind for us. When my writing starts to feel too small and circle-running, I turn to his instructions for inspiration. (The following is the partial list of his advice; the full length appears on the Wikipedia entry for Kerouac.)

Scribbled secret notebooks, and wild typewritten pages, for yr own joy

It's worth checking out the entire article for a list of the big K's inspiration when feeling down. Check it out here.

The Pride of The Potomac -- Not!

The anonymous LROD reader submitting this form letter for our consideration was duly insulted by the lack of pride this literary magazine takes in the professional business of rejecting people. The rejected party offers up this amusing rant by way of a critique:

"The slip that came back in my SASE (the expensive kind with self-sealing back that editors are supposed to prefer) was so sloppily folded that it looked more like they tucked a paper airplane in there. I thought I was pulling out some kind of origami project at first. It was all bent up at odd angles like the guy was rushing to get out of the office before he missed his bus. Seriously, you could just feel the seething resentment and indifference of whatever lackey whose job it was to seal the SASE and let me know that they've tossed my stuff.Yes, my submission doesn't suit their current needs. But I may wish to order our new issue, which demonstrates their new look and vision. Wha--?

In case it needs pointing out, this slip looks like it was put together with Print Shop, that ancient sign-making software for the PC that was in use like 20 years ago, back in the day of dot-matrix printers. This is insane! After being treated to this fold-out project, I may wish to order? New look and vision? I don't even want to know -- man, I've got stories to sell, readers to reach!

Tuesday, March 11, 2008

Not A Magazine for the Untouchables (That's Us)

Thanks to an anonymous tip, here's some juicy insight into the strange business of the free online magazine Narrative (topic of much LROD speculation) in the form of an SF Chronicle article.

Here's how the article opens:

Tom Jenks and Carol Edgarian refuse to see the bad news about Americans' reading habits as most literary people do - as the end of civilization.

Although the San Francisco couple do not dispute the recent numbers from the National Endowment for the Arts - 2005 saw a 20-year low in spending by American households on books; among high school students, only 35 percent are proficient readers - they see a silver lining in the global reach of the Internet.

"This is a revolutionary period," says Jenks, 57, who has held fiction editor positions at Esquire, GQ and Scribner's. "And as with all revolutionary periods, it's one of enormous opportunity - I don't think there's ever been a greater period of opportunity for writers, for literary work."

"I think the transition for writers (from print to digital) is painful because it's new," adds Edgarian, 46, the author of the critically acclaimed novel "Rise of the Euphrates." "But the opportunities are enormous."

Five years ago this summer, the two set out to test their theory. Over 10 days during a vacation in Martha's Vineyard, they assembled a free online magazine called Narrative (www.narrativemagazine.com) with selections from writer friends such as Jane Smiley, Tobias Wolff and Joyce Carol Oates. The magazine's primary goal: to connect more readers to more literary writers. They even taglined the publication "The Future of Reading."

Fancy! Go here to read the entire article; it's fascinating.

Literary Rejection Conference?

An anonymous reader sent this fun story in for your consideration:

"I sent my story out to The Gettysburg Review, oh, around Thanksgiving time last year. Haven't heard a peep but yesterday I did get this big fold-out brochure in the mail for their annual writer's conference. Says here I just return the enclosed postcard to get the registration packet. All it costs -- with room and board and a daily ten-dollar lunch ticket -- is approximately $1,000. Maybe that's cheap for a week of tutorials and networking, but I couldn't help but notice that all six writers who are speaking at the conference (they're all there on the cover of the brochure) also happen to be full-time professors. There it is again, the use of "writer" as a synonym for "college professor!" Now, considering that I want to be a real writer myself, maybe my conference money is better saved so's I can go back to school and get my teaching degree?Meanwhile, uh, about that story ..."

Monday, March 10, 2008

The Guy Who Wins When You Lose

Remember Jacob Appel, the Golden Appel? The guy who wins all the contests you lose. Well, an anonymous reader sent in this update about him, another win, and a story you can read and judge...something about the "irrelevancy" of "stolen baboons." The anonymous submitter of this item says: "He beat me twice in one week in two different genres! Maybe he's cheating :)"

Anyway, mazel tov, dude....once again.

Gawker Takes Notice

More on the faked memoir story and former Scribner editor Sarah McGrath in an article at Gawker. This time there's a link to McGrath's rejection letter on LROD:

"Judging from a 2000 rejection letter, first published by Literary Rejections On Display, McGrath assembled her stable of "high-profile" writers by keeping her expectations high; in the letter she said she was hunting for manuscripts that "blow me away." McGrath hardly softened the rejection when she mentioned, right there in the first paragraph, another, implicitly better writer of hers, Erika Krouse, who "I am publishing this spring," unlike the rejection recipient.

If nothing else, the document is a reminder of the competitive pressures that help drive some authors to start plagiarizing and making things up."

Don't get any bad ideas out there, mice. Just write your own stories.

Friday, March 7, 2008

Rejection Equation: Proust = You

The literary magazine West Branch rejects you by quoting an inane rejection of Proust. Then a simple statement: "Thanks for sending to WEST BRANCH. Though we have decided not to publish you work this time, we appreciate your interest in the magazine. Simple, yet pretentious, wouldn't you say?


Thursday, March 6, 2008

Did This Guy Kill the Novel?

A fascinating article over at Salon by Stephen Marche says "Alain Robbe-Grillet turned the masses against inventive fiction. Now that he's dead, will experimental writing make a comeback?" Interesting.
Here's a highlight:

"The relief I felt when I heard about Robbe-Grillet's death was also partly hope. Now we can go on, I was thinking. ...The two strands of postwar literary fiction, the ultraradical and the willfully archaic, are both antithetical to the spirit of the novel itself, which is polyglot and unpredictable. Novels are supposed to be messy. They are written to express ideals and to make money; they steal from everything and everyone, high, middle and low, belonging to everyone and no one in the same moment. They don't fit anyone's conception. That's why we love them."

I hope everyone in publishing reads this, especially the novels-are-supposed-to-be-a-messy-business part, because it surely describes the novel I just handed over to my agent: polyglot and unpredictable indeed.

The Story May Not Have FlatLined Yet...

But the Ontario Review is dead and gone.  And that's sad.  Here for more details.

Wednesday, March 5, 2008

Ah, Youth!



Below is a comment I got this morning, which actually did not make me feel stupid, but warmed my heart.  It is good to see that a whole new generation of poor dumb writers has come to age as optimistically as we once did. Pig-headed and petulant and passionate, all good things for a young writer to be.  I remember when I felt that way.

Here's the comment:

"This is so wrong. You must be a miserable rejected would-be writer. Because the short story's not dead at all. In fact, it's doing great! Better than ever! More fantastic art is being written now than ever before in the history of the English language! More accredited writers have access to more venues than ever before, more books and magazines and being published for stories than ever before, and we are just drowning in opportunities for conferences and parties and teaching! I can't imagine a more fantastic lifestyle, and I am living it! But don't just take my anonymous word, o would-be one. You can read about it on Galley Cat. Feel stupid yet? Well I must be off -- got class in twenty minutes. Bye bye!"

(Oh, but, here's a tip, young writer: don't believe everything you read. At Galley Cat, or elsewhere.)