Wednesday, November 30, 2011

Look Who's Gone Digital!

From: Fiction, TNY_Fiction@advancemags.com   
Date: Tue, Nov 29, 2011  
Subject: Re: via contact us form 
To: LROD_reader@rejection.com

We regret that we are unable to use the enclosed material. Thank youfor giving us the opportunity to consider it. 
Sincerely,
The Editors

Monday, November 28, 2011

Submishmash Crash

A service that will send out rejections for your organization?  I suppose so. It's cloud-based. That's good to know:
Dear [Writer/First Name]: Thanks for giving us the chance to read your work; unfortunately, it doesn't meet our needs at this time. However, we promise that if you keep writing, we'll keep reading. All the best, The Editors, Arts & Letters You are receiving this email because you have an account with a publisher or organization that uses Submishmash. If you'd like to unsubscribe and stop receiving all notification emails from Submishmash organizations, please CLICK HERE TO UNSUBSCRIBE.

Friday, November 25, 2011

Drink the Milk of Love

I'm grateful for many things this year, peeps. I know, I know: my novel got completely crunched up in the agent machinery, I was rejected after a year of hope, and now I have two versions of the novel and don't know what the hell to do.  (Actually, I've contacted an editor who is going to help me with it, I hope.) But I do have an agent interested in my non-fiction book proposal, and I have an exciting piece of news about the project, but I have to wait until it's a done deal before I announce it. I also believe that some of you brighter mice will be learning my identity at some point....seems like sooner rather than later.  So hold on to your tiny little anonymice hats. Happy Thanksgiving. I hope you had a calm and peaceful holiday with your families and friends. It's good for all of us to focus on the important stuff of life, and not just our writing, sometimes. Right?  

Wednesday, November 23, 2011

I Seriously Love Kurt Vonnegut. Have I Mentioned?

Here's one from the archives from the Atlantic Monthly, just to show that even KV got the heave-ho from time to time.  Lots to be Thankful for this year. Will write my annual list tomorrow.  I'm off to my in-laws, so it promises to be better than last year's disaster. Don't eat too much Tofurky mice; it will only make you sleepy vegans.
August 29, 1949
Dear Mr. Vonnegut:
We have been carrying out our usual summer house-cleaning of the manuscripts on our _____bench and in the file, and among them I find the three papers which you have shown me as samples of your work.  I am sincerely sorry that no use of theses seems to us well suited or our purpose.  Both the account of the bombings of Dresden and your article, "What's a Fair Price for Golden Eggs?" have drawn ____________ although neither one is quite compelling enough for our final acceptance.
Our staff remains fully manned as I cannot hold out the hope of an editorial assignment, but I shall e glad to know that you have found a promising opening elsewhere. Faithfully yours, Edward Weeks.
Photo of rejection courtesy the Saturday Evening Post. Fill in the words if you can and let me know what they are; I can't read them off the photo of the framed letter.

Tuesday, November 22, 2011

The Definition of No

This rejection was sent in by an LROD reader, who notes the turn around time was quick, a few days. Seems Jacob, Ass. Ed. is quick on his feet. Clever, too:
Dear Writer: Thank you for sending your story along, but I'm afraid it's not quite right for Harper's Magazine. Please know that we publish only twelve stories a year and receive hundreds of submissions for each one of those spots; under such circumstances, a "no" should be taken to mean "no room" as opposed to "no good". Best of luck placing the story elsewhere, and best of luck with all your writing. Sincerely, Jacob [Illegible], Editorial Assistant

Monday, November 21, 2011

Put Me in The Crazy House!

Bellevue Literary Review is for medical writing...and crazy people:*
Dear Writer: Thank you for submitting your work to the Bellevue Literary Review. We appreciate the efforts that have gone into this piece. Unfortunately, given the volume of submissions we receive, even quality work often has to be declined. Please be assured that your piece was read thoroughly and given careful consideration by our editorial staff. We wish you luck in placing this elsewhere, and apologize for not being able to offer a personal reply. Sincerely, The Editors, Bellevue Literary Review (www.BLReview.org) NOTE: Please do not reply to this e-mail -- we are unable to respond personally to messages sent to this address.
*not really.

Thursday, November 17, 2011

Fugue is a Dissociative State

This came from an LROD reader.  I've been in this fugue state before myself:
Thank you for sending us "Title". We appreciate the chance to read it. Unfortunately, the piece is not for us. Thanks again. Best of luck with this. Sincerely, Fugue

Tuesday, November 15, 2011

Blah, Blah, Blah...Superior!

I grew up in the Great Lakes Region, but never heard it called "Third Coast" before.  Who knew. Here's a rejection from a reader from Third Coast Literary Magazine:
Thank you for submitting your work for our consideration. We regret that we are unable to accept it for publication in Third Coast. We wish you the best of luck in placing it elsewhere.--The Editors

Monday, November 14, 2011

Rejections from Binghamton (Also Writers)

Dear Writer [First and Last Name]: Thank you for submitting your work to Harpur Palate. Though it does not meet our current needs, we appreciate the opportunity to consider it for publication. We wish you the best in placing it elsewhere. As writers ourselves, we know how much effort goes into each piece you send out, so we regret the use of a form rejection, but the volume of manuscripts we receive makes a personal reply impossible. Sincerely, Sara Erdmann, Harpur Palate

Friday, November 11, 2011

Check it

 







Cool new interactive book design of the future, courtesy of MediaBistro. Check it out. Drag your mouse across the book. What? No way. That's pretty awesome.

Thursday, November 10, 2011

Pass We Must At the House of Tin

Why do they bug me at Tin House?  They just do:
Thank you for sending us "Title." Unfortunately, we must pass at this time. Best of luck placing your work elsewhere. Sincerely, Tin House Editors

Tuesday, November 8, 2011

Rejection from the Sea

Dear Writer: Thank you for sending your work to Mid-American Review (MAR). After careful deliberation, we have decided not to accept it for publication, though we wanted to let you know that we read it with more than the casual amount of interest, that your work in some way caught our eye. We hope that you will send more work our way in the future. We also wish you luck in all of your literary endeavors, including placing this submission in another publication. Best wishes, Michael Czyzniejewski, Editor

Friday, November 4, 2011

CAPS-FLATTERY-BEFORE-SALES-MESSAGE REJECTION

This fresh rejection is from AGNI:
Dear Writer: Thank you for giving AGNI the opportunity to read your work. We found the writing lively and interesting and enjoyed reading it. After careful consideration, we've decided that this manuscript isn't right for us, but please consider sending other work in the future. THIS IS NOT OUR CUSTOMARY REJECTION SLIP. Kind regards, The Editors PS: Without submissions like yours, we'd lose the sense of discovery that keeps AGNI fresh. Please see the other side for a discounted subscription rate offered as a thank-you to our submitters.

Wednesday, November 2, 2011

Never Heard of This One

Still no electricity; thank goodness for the kindness of strangers.  Here's a rejection to tide you over:
Dear [First Name]: We appreciate the opportunity to read your work, but we will not be publishing your submission, "Title." We wish you luck placing it elsewhere. Thanks very much for your interest in HFR - we hope you'll submit to us again! Sincerely, The Editors, Hayden's Ferry Review 
You are receiving this email because you have an account with a publisher or organization that uses Submishmash.

Tuesday, November 1, 2011

No Juice

That freaky snow storm that hit has knocked my town out of power for a few days.  Supposed to be back up and running on Thursday. Meanwhile, it's freezing and dark at my house and office. Some parts of our town have power so, I'm out on the move, looking for electric plugs and Wi-fi.  May be spotty with the posts for a few days.