Wednesday, January 15, 2014

Somewhat Intriguing, But Not Really

Last Spring, I submitted 25 pages of my novel to a contest where the perk was to get direct feedback from three readers who are "industry insiders."  Here's a smattering of what I got back:
  • There are a lot of unnecessary and misused colons. En dashes were used where em dashes were needed
  • This novel will be very difficult to place
  • Lots of good detail of the snow, clothing, hair movements, etc
  • The first chapter is very long
  • The first line is somewhat intriguing, but not really fascinating
  • It is definitely original. I saw no cliches
  • Writer has a very unique voice
  • Main character seems dark, trapped in a horrible world
  • I don't see any conflict. The mother is too domineering to allow it.
  • The children talked in a manner appropriate for unsupervised, uncared for children of the era.
  • Narrative vastly overwhelmed the dialogue.

5 comments:

Chris said...

Most of the comments don't help you make the pages better. I would have expected more from the "insiders" but perhaps I expect too much. Thanks for a great site.

Heynonnynonymous said...

"First chapter is very long." Now, there's an ingenious remark. Probably worth the $25 you spent entering this dumb contest.

J.D. Roa said...

LOL... worth every penny, this contest was. "Main character seems dark, trapped in a horrible world" sounds like what Nicholas Cage would say.

CAPSMAN said...

THIS TAKES THE CAKE:
The first line is somewhat intriguing, but not really fascinating

Writer, Rejected said...

I know I'm really back when CAPSMAN starts chiming in.