Last Spring, I submitted 25 pages of my novel to a contest where the perk was to get direct feedback from three readers who are "industry insiders." Here's a smattering of what I got back:
- There are a lot of unnecessary and misused colons. En dashes were used where em dashes were needed
- This novel will be very difficult to place
- Lots of good detail of the snow, clothing, hair movements, etc
- The first chapter is very long
- The first line is somewhat intriguing, but not really fascinating
- It is definitely original. I saw no cliches
- Writer has a very unique voice
- Main character seems dark, trapped in a horrible world
- I don't see any conflict. The mother is too domineering to allow it.
- The children talked in a manner appropriate for unsupervised, uncared for children of the era.
- Narrative vastly overwhelmed the dialogue.
5 comments:
Most of the comments don't help you make the pages better. I would have expected more from the "insiders" but perhaps I expect too much. Thanks for a great site.
"First chapter is very long." Now, there's an ingenious remark. Probably worth the $25 you spent entering this dumb contest.
LOL... worth every penny, this contest was. "Main character seems dark, trapped in a horrible world" sounds like what Nicholas Cage would say.
THIS TAKES THE CAKE:
The first line is somewhat intriguing, but not really fascinating
I know I'm really back when CAPSMAN starts chiming in.
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