A Literary Journal For the Mostly Alive

Oy...No kidding that you're killing me:

Hello [Name]: Thank you for considering kill author for your work. Having read "[story]," though there's an interesting idea at the center of the piece, we unfortunately don't think the story as a whole is quite suited to our journal, so we're going to pass on it. We wish you the best of luck with placing this work elsewhere. Do feel free to submit material to us again in the future if you think you have something suitable. Best, kill author