So You Want to Write a Novel

This is who gets published instead of you. Courtesy of a nice mouse who sent me the link.  My favorite line is:
Q: "I assumed you've used a steak knife, right?"
A: "Of course."
Q: "Do you think you're qualified to perform neurosurgery?"
A: "Ha, ha. That's funny. I might base a character on you."
Q: "So do you think that being able to read and write in your native language qualifies you to write a novel?"
A: "How many editors will Random House assign to my novel?"
Q: "Minus 13."