"Dear Writer: Thank you for sharing your work with me. I know that writing a book is a time-consuming and emotional process, so I appreciate the effort you have expended to reach this point in your publishing journey. Alas, I must reject what you have been kind enough to submit. Like the rest of the arts, publishing is a very subjective business. Even though the founders of the agency have written or coauthored 14 books, most of which have been successful, they still get rejected. And although we have sold books to more than 100 publishers since 1972, our clients' work is still rejected. Nor do all of the books that we sell succeed. Michael, Elizabeth and I are eager to find new books and writers, and we love to get excited about them. But the only way we can make a living is by selling books to the large and medium-sized New York publishers, and selling small books by new writers to big publishers is becoming more difficult. So finding new writers is the hardest part of our job. And it's getting harder. Like editors, we receive thousands of submissions a year and reject more than ninety percent of them. This forces us to use a form letter. But rejecting manuscripts that become successful books is a publishing tradition. Assume we're wrong. Persevere until your books reach the goals you set for them. I can't suggest a publisher or an agent who might be interested in a particular writer's work, but directories, your publishing network, and the Association of Authors' Representatives might lead you to the agent you need. Persistence rewards talent. I can't make a living saying no, but as author Joe Girard says: 'Every no gets you closer to yes.'"
Why is she quoting Joe Girard? "Every no gets you closer to yes?" Does she think we are cheesey motivational salesmen? One word: pukey.