Tuesday, November 18, 2008

Aw, Come On, Now!

Sarah Palin has reportedly been offered $7M for "her book" by Random House.  At least, so says Radar, Fishbowl LA, and subsequently skeptical Galley Cat; therefore, it must be true. (p.s. there's lipstick under that muzzle.) I guess anyone who didn't poke his eyes out first would have seen this ass-deal coming a mile away. BTW, Sarah Silverman's as-of-yet unwritten book hooked an offer of $2.5 M according to the NY Observer, and don't forget that tremendous literary hero, Jerry Seinfeld, whose book is going for $7M to $8M.  Will any of those advances pay out?  Seriously, only in America would comedians and illiterate politicians be taken more seriously than literary novelists.

Excuse me, now, while I go f*ck myself.


rmellis said...

You can't really think of those as "book contracts" -- they're actually "fame bonuses." Yeah, something resembling a book results in the end... but it's not the same.

sassy pants said...

Of course it's obnoxious. I certainly hate it, but when you decide to become a writer, I mean to pursue it as a career you are kind of accepting that it is a "business," right?

You know us complaining (as rightful as it maybe) is kind of like when celebrities complain about their fans coming up them or the paparazzi.

It's not like we didn't know what we were signing up for.

I complain about all this same stuff, but where does it get me?

There has to be a way to get publishing back into the writer's hands... and I don't mean shady, fucked up self-publishing.

The Rejection Queen said...

Oh and don't forget about Lauren Conrad from the Hills who probably hasn't read a book in her life but is now "writing" a whole series of novels...give me a f*king break!

John said...

There are hundreds of markets out there, dozens paying. Check Duotrope. Doing the ordinary work of submitting ought to get people's minds off this other stuff.

E. said...

Obviously, Palin, Silverman, Seinfeld, and Conrad have secret MFA degrees, otherwise there's no way they'd get published.

Yet more evidence of poor vetting on McCain's part.

PMJG said...

It's not worth getting upset about. Nonfiction books are a bizarre and nonsensical category all by themselves, and should only be compared to literary fiction in the same way that cheetahs and sheepdogs can be compared because they walk on four legs.

Anonymous said...

Mrs. Palin is not illiterate. Besides her good contributions to politics, she's actually pretty smart. Judging by your own comparative "success" that would be a lot smarter than you.

Writer, Rejected said...

Really? Palin couldn't name one newspaper she reads (which I can). She didn't know that Africa is a continent (which I do, on most days, anyway). She mangles the English language like nobody's business, proposes a ridiculously simple ideology, and shows a stunning lack of curiosity beyond her own experience.

I say this as a "real American." I may not be as well published as she is going to be with her millions of dollars, but the fat lady hasn't sung yet. I will never get millions (maybe not thousands), but I'll write my own book, and I bet it will be more impressive than hers is.

Just sayin'.

James said...

the one difference between them is that seinfeld can write. and not only for television. have you ever read the ted l. nancy books, "letters from a nut", "more letters from a nut", etc? they're the funniest things i've ever seen. hands down. seriously. i know the books aren't, at least officially, penned by him, but all the evidence seems to be there.

noir said...


No, I don't think Seinfeld wrote them, but I think they benefited from the link.

OK... about six years ago I was in a Burbank Kinko's, popular with other film wannabes (they actually sold preprinted labels of all the places you could submit your scripts and get 'em rejected).

The middle-aged guy next to me was photocopying a story about Match Game (as in the '70s rerun so lovingly compiled by the Game Show network). I think the title jumped out at me - it was about Gene Rayburn. I also saw that the return address and name was Ted L. Nancy.

My husband loved his books, which I hadn't read yet, so I called him over and we talked briefly with the man.

He claimed to be photocopying it for submittal to a literary journal, but for his brother, Ted was his "brother".

I think we were talking to the real Ted Nancy.