The King Sayeth No

A reader sent this rejection in from an online journal called The King's English with the following comment: "They said they wanted poetry, I sent poetry, and they replied with that old chesnut, 'doesn't meet our needs.' Of course, nowhere in the guidelines does it say what they need. I'd almost rather they said that they didn't like it, and maybe even give a reason."

I'd rather they'd actually used some approximation of King James's English in the rejection, wouldn't you? Something like: "Deareth Writerest: The King dost thank thou for submitting to the journal of his Royal Language. We regreteth, nonetheless, to informest thou that thy work doth sucketh. However, best of lucketh to thou elseth-wherest."