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Wednesday, August 22, 2007

Multiple Choice Question

Writer is to Agent/Editor as blank is to blank yielded the following replies:

1) Writer is to agent/editor as horny nerd is to aloof homecoming queen
2) Writer is to agent/editor as pauper is to prince
3) Writer is to agent/editor as fly is to horse
4) Writer is to agent/editor as mosquito is to human
5) Writer is to agent/editor as monkey is to dignitary
6) Writer is to agent/editor as bird flu is to chicken
7) Writer is to agent/editor as flea is to cat
8) Writer is to agent/editor as ebola is to the population
9) Writer is to agent/editor as student is to mentor
10) Writer is to agent/editor as student is to Harvard recruiter
11) Writer is to agent/editor as partygoer is to bouncer
12) Writer is to agent/editor as ho is to pimp

Which is most apt, and why?


Steve said...

11. Partygoer to bouncer.

Agents are like bouncers. They can get you in the door but that alone doesn't make the party a success. And like bouncers agents can be subjective in who they choose to let in. Style often accounts for much more than substance, which explains the current state of the literary community.

Anonymous said...

Well, I said it before, I like "monkey to dignitary." It's not the most apt, but it's the funniest.

I could make a case for all of these. In the end, I think "flea to cat" is most apt. Though editors and agents certainly seem to think it's "horny nerd to homecoming queen." Sh-yah! Wouldn't they like to believe so!

z said...

Well, as the author of pauper through ebola, I've been putting some thought into this, and I think my analogies are from the perspective of the editor/agent, as if WE were the parasites. But in fact, I have to ultimately go with "ho is to pimp," because a pimp is a parasite off the ho's hard labor, and isn't that what editor/agent is to writer?

Anonymous said...

Not only that, but the pimp often acts like he's doing a ho a favor by letting her work for him. Plus, pimps have itchy trigger fingers when it comes to bitch-slapping hoes that ask for their due.

z said...

I think that is an excellent description of the relationship, far closer than the "lovers" analogy, though initially, doesn't the pimp seduce the ho, pretending to love her before he starts her turning tricks? The lover analogy is a mere self-delusion disguising what is really going on.

rmellis said...

Though I contributed the one about the bouncer, and stand by it, I have to admit that there's something hoish, pimpish about the relationship, too. A bouncer doesn't get fifteen percent of the take.