"The deep waters, black as ink, began to swell and recede into an uncertain distance. A gray ominous mist obscured the horizon. The ocean expanse seemed to darken in disapproval. Crashing tides sounded groans of agonized discontent. The ocean pulsed with a frightening, vital force. Although hard to imagine, life existed beneath. It's infinite underbelly was teeming with life, a monstrous collection of finned, tentacled, toxic, and slimy parts...."
Blech! But I guess they didn't spend 10 years of their precious life revising like I did.
Anyway, hey, editors at Penguin: next time you want to publish a high-concept novel, don't waste your time on gimmicks; contact me instead. I've got a really good literary book waiting for you. And what could be better than successfully publishing the most rejected writer around? Seriously. That's interesting, isn't it? Okay, never mind.