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Thursday, June 28, 2007

An Open Letter to Google

To: Google Ad Masters
From: Writer, Rejected
RE: Erroneous & Misleading Banner Ad at the Bottom of my Blog

I tried to find a way to reach you more directly by searching around the AdSense Help Center for a few hours yesterday, but none was apparent. One fine reader of this blog suggested that I contact you at googleabuse, but I fear "abuse" is an overstatement of the problem, and that you may think I am crying wolf. Another spitfire reader told me that "advertising is the devil," and while I quite agree, I thought that it was clever of you (perhaps Satanic) to advertise Better Rejection Letters on my blog.

I am indeed trying to start a revolution here. And some day as a result of my efforts I hope that editors will simply hand back report cards to aspiring authors, doling out grades on various topics (i.e., query letter, concept, project execution, writing style, and marketability). This would dispense with all the mystery comments about their passion, their comfort, their courage, their fertility, their ability to find someone to love. This would bring compassion and elegance back to the literary rejection and allow writers some dignity--as much as we had, say, in college, or high school.

But let's not jump the gun, here. Right now, I'd merely like for you to correct the ad banner, so that in the meantime should some poor editor want to figure out how to write a better rejection letter on his own, he may simply click the banner at the bottom of the page and go to an appropriate vendor, who will provide appropriate help. Instead, currently (I am told) the poor clueless editor would be brought to a free search engine page, sending the exact wrong message: "Your guess is as good as mine, buddy. I don't know how to write a good rejection letter." Or worse, "Figure it out yourself." You see, Google Masters, they have been figuring it out themselves, and it's not working very well.

So, can you help straighten this mess out? Can you fix my banner ad, so that it is not false advertising? I will await your reply. (Don't make me call on googleabuse.) Thank you. Please write back.

p.s. I read some small print yesterday indicating that not only is a blog host not supposed to click on her own banner ad (which I carefully did not do), but she is also not supposed to point her readers to the ad either (which inadvertently, I have done). Therefore, you may keep your $1.07, since it has been gained under false pretenses. I do not expect to profit from my rejections, any more it seems than I will ever profit from my writing. I am a writer, for goodness sake; I know poverty. I hope you will donate the proceeds to some organization serving needy poets. In the meantime, though, I hope you will not find it necessary to send me to google jail. I would hate to have to become some technogeek's bitch.

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