I'll let you have at this rejection because I don't even know where to begin: Dear Writer: First, please let us offer thanks for your patience and sincere apologies for the stupidly long delay in responding to your submissionto Swink Online. Various calamities and acts of the gods intervened, but after a one-year hiatus, we are back in the swing of things, with more editor-type folks and a shiny new format. We can accept only a fraction of the many, many submissions we receive each month, and we are sorry to say that your piece was not among them. But we thank you for your interest, and we hope you'll consider submitting to us again. Be sure to read our revised submission guidelines [http://www.swinkmag.com/guidelines2.html] before submitting. And please be assured that in the future we'll get back to you in much more timely fashion! With the launch of the new format and our expanded editorial team, we're working like mad to keep to a 90-day response time. Wish us luck, as we do you!